{ <div class="admin"> <a href="http://www.mediascot.org/alt-w"><img src="images/altw.png" class="altw"/></a> <h1>Hana Feels</h1> <h2>by <a href="http://www.gavininglis.com/">Gavin Inglis</a></h2> <p><i>Art by <a href="http://scribbleimp.tumblr.com/">Scribble Imp</a>.</i> <br/> <i>Concept by Stephen Redman.</i></p> <p><i>Supported by New Media Scotland&rsquo;s <a href="http://www.mediascot.org/alt-w">Alt-w Fund</a>, with investment from the Scottish Government. Part of the <a href="https://www.ginsberg.io/">Ginsberg</a> ecosystem.</i></p> <p>This is an interactive story about a girl named Hana. She will talk to several different people during the story, and you can sometimes choose what they say to her.</p> <p>What people say will make a difference to what Hana feels, and how she behaves. The story can end in three different ways.</p> <!-- DEBUG explicitly shows Hana's stats --> (set: $debug to false) <p><span class="link">[[BEGIN->Will-1A]]</span></p> <br/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hanasil.png"/></div> <!-- Hana is modelled by variables --> <!-- HEALTH monitors Hana's mental health. At lower values, she is more --> <!-- likely to self-harm. (0-10) --> (set: $health to 2) <!-- STRESS is a shorter-term measure which is more changeable and --> <!-- can influence HEALTH. At higher values, Hana is volatile. (0-100) --> (set: $stress to 70) <!-- COMMS reflects how outgoing (high values) or withdrawn (low values) --> <!-- Hana feels. (0-10) --> (set: $comms to 2) <!-- WILL records how Hana currently feels about Will, the helpline guy. --> (set: $will to 0) <!-- JEN records how Hana currently feels about Jen, her best friend. --> (set: $jen to 7) <!-- CHRISTINE records how Hana currently feels about Christine, her boss. --> (set: $christine to 5) <!-- ERNIE records how Hana currently feels about Ernie, the group leader. --> (set: $ernie to 0) <!-- These flags mark events within the story. Mark as false for replays. --> (set: $fruitstory to false) (set: $whatname to false) (set: $whyhang to false) (set: $roulette to false) (set: $snapout to false) (set: $dental to false) (set: $resit to false) (set: $middleage to false) (set: $bosscut to false) (set: $bookyguy to false) (set: $yougay to false) (set: $followup to false) (set: $speakany to false) (set: $toldwill to false) (set: $origin to false) (set: $notcut to false) (set: $wentdate to false) (set: $charity to false) (set: $isolate to false) (set: $onething to false) (set: $erniestory to false) (set: $toldchris to false) (set: $chrishug to false) (set: $chrisfriend to false) (set: $bigbox to false) (set: $somedie to false) (set: $finaltalk to false) (set: $friends to false) <!-- EMPATHY records how much Will seems to understand Hana. (0-10) --> (set: $empathy to 0) <!-- BASESTRESS records Hana's stress levels at the start of the scene. --> (set: $basestress to $stress) <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="will">Hello, HeadLine. Can I help you?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">Take your time.</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="will">My name&rsquo;s Will.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"What&rsquo;s your name?")[(set: $choice to "What&rsquo;s your name?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(set: $whatname to true)(goto:"Will-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is there something you&rsquo;re worried about?")[(set: $choice to "Is there something you&rsquo;re worried about?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Should I talk for a while?")[(set: $choice to "Should I talk for a while?")(goto:"Will-1B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hanasil.png"/></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> (if: $choice is "What&rsquo;s your name?") [ <div class="will">You don&rsquo;t have to tell me if you don&rsquo;t want to. You can just make up a name if you like.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Is there something you&rsquo;re worried about?") [ <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (if: $choice is "Should I talk for a while?") [ <div class="will">I saw a grapefruit on a fence today. Someone had just wedged it up there. Black fence, bright yellow grapefruit. And I wondered if it had fallen out of somebody&rsquo;s bag and the person who found it thought they would come looking for it. So they thought, hey, I&rsquo;ll put it up on this fence so they&rsquo;ll see it when they come back.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">And then I wondered if maybe somebody had bought it just to display it up there, on top of this fence. People have weird hobbies.</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> (set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10)) (set: $fruitstory to true) <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] <div class="will">I&rsquo;m here for as long as it takes.</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">[[&hellip;->Will-1C]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">Damn. (if: $fruitstory is true)[What was I thinking with that grapefruit thing?]</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[WILL->Will-bumper]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="will">Hello, HeadLine. Can I help you?</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;quiet breathing&gt;</span></div> <div class="will">Just take your time. There&rsquo;s no rush.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> (if: $choice is "What&rsquo;s your name?") [ <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s Hana.</div> <div class="will">I&rsquo;m sorry?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s Hana. My name. You asked what my name was.</div> <div class="will">Yes, I did.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">My name&rsquo;s Hana.</div> ] <div class="will">My name&rsquo;s Will. Hello, Hana.</div> <div class="hana">I didn&rsquo;t want you to think I was a heavy breather.</div> <div class="will">A heavy breather?</div> <div class="hana">One of those guys who rings up random people just to breathe down the phone at them. I called before. I rang back so you&rsquo;d know that wasn&rsquo;t what was going on. That I wasn&rsquo;t one of those guys.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Thanks.")[(set: $choice to "Thanks.")(goto:"Will-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;m glad you called back.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;m glad you called back.")(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What was it you wanted to talk about?")[(set: $choice to "What was it you wanted to talk about?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Will-1E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $fruitstory is true) [ <div class="hana">I liked your story about the grapefruit.</div> <div class="will">I don&rsquo;t know why it popped into my head. It was just a strange thing to see in the street.</div> <div class="hana">You should offer a service where people can phone up to talk about fruit. All different types.</div> <div class="will">Do you think a lot of people would call it?</div> <div class="hana">Maybe if they were hungry.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sorry to bother you.</div> <div class="will">It&rsquo;s OK. You&rsquo;re not bothering me.</div> ] <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">This feels really strange.</div> <div class="will">Strange in what way?</div> <div class="hana">Talking to someone I don&rsquo;t know. That I can&rsquo;t even see.</div> <div class="will">Some people find it easier to talk to someone they don&rsquo;t know.</div> <div class="hana">Mm.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You can talk about anything you want.")[(set: $choice to "You can talk about anything you want.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-3, 0))(goto:"Will-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is something on your mind?")[(set: $choice to "Is something on your mind?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why did you hang up before?")[(set: $choice to "Why did you hang up before?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(set: $whyhang to true)(goto:"Will-1G")]</div> </div> }{ <div class="bumper"> <img src="images/will.png"/> <div class="bumpertext"> <h1>Will</h1> <p>Will is a new volunteer for the charity HeadLine. It provides a free twenty-four-hour service for people to talk about mental health issues in confidence. Will is an artist and often works very late hours anyway, so he normally covers night shifts.</p> <p>He&rsquo;s been through the training, like every volunteer, and passed the selection process. But he still worries about saying the wrong thing.</p> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <p><span class="link">[[CONTINUE->Will-1D]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="left"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I saw a woman in the casino the other night.</div> <div class="will">OK &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">She took a wad of money out of her bag and bet at the roulette table. It was a big handful, all purple twenty pound notes.</div> <div class="will">Did she win?</div> <div class="hana">No. But she went right back into her bag and pulled out another handful, and she bet again. She won that time, and she took all the winnings and bet again. She kept betting until she lost everything. She must have gone back into her bag four or five more times.</div> <div class="will">Sounds like a lot of money to lose.</div> <div class="hana">Each handful was more than I make in a week.</div> <div class="will">What made you watch her in particular?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">She looked sick. I mean, every time she reached back in the bag there was this strange queasy look on her face.</div> <div class="will">She wasn&rsquo;t enjoying herself.</div> <div class="hana">No way. When she lost the last one and left, she almost looked relieved.</div> (set: $roulette to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Are you worried about your own gambling?")[(set: $choice to "Are you worried about your own gambling?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Will-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Was there a reason you noticed this woman in particular?")[(set: $choice to "Was there a reason you noticed this woman in particular?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+2, 10))(goto:"Will-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"It must have been frustrating to watch her throw all that money away.")[(set: $choice to "It must have been frustrating to watch her throw all that money away.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I got self-conscious.</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s a pretty weird thing to do, to call up a total stranger in the middle of the night.</div> <div class="will">More people do it than you might think.</div> <div class="hana">Well, it&rsquo;s weird for me.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You can talk about anything you want.")[(set: $choice to "You can talk about anything you want.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-3, 0))(goto:"Will-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Can I make it less weird somehow?")[(set: $choice to "Can I make it less weird somehow?")(set: $will to (min: $will + 1, 10))(goto:"Will-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did something happen tonight?")[(set: $choice to "Did something happen tonight?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy + 1, 10))(goto:"Will-1I")]</div> </div> }{ <div class="bumper"> <img src="images/christine.png"/> <div class="bumpertext"> <h1>Christine</h1> <p>Christine is Food and Beverage Manager for a city casino. She&rsquo;s in charge of a small team of bartenders and waiting staff.</p> <p>The message Christine always gets from head office is very clear: a night in the casino should feel like a fun night out on the town. The guests should have access to well-prepared food which arrives quickly, and alcohol at reasonable prices. Particularly important is that Christine&rsquo;s team create a welcoming environment where the guests feel at home.</p> <p>One of her staff is named Hana.</p> <br/> <br/> <p><span class="link">[[CONTINUE->Christine-1A]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="left"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Are you worried about your own gambling?") [ <div class="hana">*&lt;snort&gt;* I don&rsquo;t gamble.</div> <div class="will">OK &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Just because I was in a casino doesn&rsquo;t mean I was gambling.</div> <div class="will">I believe you.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Was there a reason you noticed this woman in particular?") [ <div class="hana">There was something about the way she did it. Not just the weird sick look on her face. But the way she reached into the bag, it was &hellip; *surreptitious*.</div> <div class="will">Like she was trying to hide it?</div> <div class="hana">Yeah. And I wondered if she hid it from her family and her friends.</div> <div class="will">Right.</div> <div class="hana">She hadn&rsquo;t come in with anybody. She was alone.</div> ] (if: $choice is "It must have been frustrating to watch her throw all that money away.") [ <div class="hana">Well, yeah. I could sure have done with the money.</div> <div class="will">But?</div> <div class="hana">I felt more sorry for her than anything. She seemed so isolated.</div> ] <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">What do you want to talk about, Hana?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I think I have a problem.</div> <div class="will">What kind of problem?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not ready to talk about it.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"OK.")[(set: $choice to "OK.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did you just need to say that to somebody?")[(set: $choice to "Did you just need to say that to somebody?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+2, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"We&rsquo;re here every night. You can call again, any time.")[(set: $choice to "We&rsquo;re here every night. You can call again, any time.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <!-- DOOM measures Hana's sense of impending disaster. (0-10) --> (set: $doom to 0) <!-- BASESTRESS records Hana's stress levels at the start of the scene. --> (set: $basestress to $stress) <div class="event">&lt;KNOCK KNOCK&gt;</div> <div class="christine">Hello, Hana. Come in and sit down.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">You haven&rsquo;t been in here before, have you?</div> <div class="hana">Just at the interview.</div> <div class="christine">Right. That seems like a long time ago.</div> <div class="hana">More than a year.</div> <div class="christine">So I suppose you know why I need to speak to you.</div> <div class="hana">No. I don&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="christine">Come on, Hana. We&rsquo;re both busy tonight.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You&rsquo;ve been a little distracted lately.")[(set: $choice to "You&rsquo;ve been a little distracted lately.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"We&rsquo;ve had some complaints.")[(set: $choice to "We&rsquo;ve had some complaints.")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You&rsquo;ll remember one particular guest.")[(set: $choice to "You&rsquo;ll remember one particular guest.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-1B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Can I make it less weird somehow?") [ (if: $fruitstory) [ <div class="hana">Do you have any more stories about fruit you&rsquo;ve found?</div> <div class="will">Just the usual supermarket stuff. That&rsquo;s not what you phoned up for, though, is it?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">No.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">Not really. I mean, it is weird. But I&rsquo;m not brave enough to talk to anyone I know.</div> <div class="will">It&rsquo;s pretty brave to pick up the phone and make this call.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t feel brave.</div> ] ] (if: ($choice is "Is something on your mind?") or ($choice is "Did something happen tonight?")) [ <div class="hana">There&rsquo;s a change going to happen at work.</div> <div class="will">What kind of change?</div> <div class="hana">Just a small thing. But it&rsquo;s a big problem.</div> <div class="will">Tell me about it.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m &hellip; I &hellip;</div> ] <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">What is it you really want to talk about, Hana?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I think I have a problem.</div> <div class="will">What kind of problem?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not ready to talk about it.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"OK.")[(set: $choice to "OK.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did you just need to say that to somebody?")[(set: $choice to "Did you just need to say that to somebody?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+2, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"We&rsquo;re here every night. You can call again, any time.")[(set: $choice to "We&rsquo;re here every night. You can call again, any time.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Will-1J")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "OK.") [ <div class="hana">Don&rsquo;t try to make me.</div> <div class="will">I won&rsquo;t.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Did you just need to say that to somebody?") [ <div class="hana">Maybe I did.</div> <div class="will">Are you feeling OK?</div> <div class="hana">No.</div> <div class="will">Do you want to talk about it?</div> <div class="hana">Not right now.</div> <div class="will">You can call back when you&rsquo;re ready.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="will">Or even if you&rsquo;re not.</div> <div class="hana">Thanks.</div> ] (if: $choice is "We&rsquo;re here every night. You can call again, any time.") [ <div class="hana">Thanks.</div> <div class="will">Really. It&rsquo;s what we&rsquo;re here for.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t like to bother people.</div> <div class="will">It gets pretty boring here if nobody calls. So really you&rsquo;re doing us a favour.</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> ] <div class="will">We can still talk about something else if you like.</div> <div class="hana">I feel like I wasted your time.</div> <div class="will">You didn&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Will-1-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>So I called the helpline. Then I chickened out of actually talking about it.</p> <p>In fact, I called twice. The first time I totally bricked it and hung up. (if: $whatname) [ It doesn&rsquo;t help that they immediately ask your name. What the hell? I called because I wanted to be anonymous. I felt like they were going to open a file on me. ] But at least I did call back. I didn&rsquo;t want them to think I was some perv breathing down the phone.</p> <p>The guy who answered was called Will. He didn&rsquo;t call me an idiot for phoning or for not getting to the point. So that was encouraging. (if: $will >= 2) [ I kind of liked him. You can tell he&rsquo;s a funny guy when he&rsquo;s not having to be all professional. ] </p> <p>I couldn&rsquo;t think of what to say at first. (if: $fruitstory) [ My silent treatment must have made him nervous because he told me this crazy story about a grapefruit he found on a fence. ] (if: $roulette) [ I ended up telling him about that woman in the casino. I&rsquo;m not sure why that whole thing stuck in my head. ] </p> <p> (if: $empathy >= 4) [ I had this strange feeling that he knew me already. Not that I recognised his voice or anything. He just seemed to know what I was feeling. (set: $comms to $comms+1) ] (elseif: $empathy is 3) [ He gave me lots of time to talk about what I was feeling. That was really good, because I can&rsquo;t always do that with people I know. (set: $comms to $comms+1) ] (elseif: $empathy is 2) [ I felt like I could talk to him OK. ] (else:) [ Sometimes I felt like he was trying to &hellip; I don&rsquo;t know, <i>solve my case</i> instead of just letting me talk. Maybe he&rsquo;s not been doing this long. ] </p> <p> (if: $stress < ($basestress-1)) [ I suppose I feel a bit better for talking about it. Even though I wasn&rsquo;t really talking about it. He let me take my time. (set: $health to $health+1) ] (elseif: $stress > ($basestress+1)) [ I feel a bit stressed though. I realise now I&rsquo;m not ready to talk about it yet, and he was sort of pushing me to get on with it. ] (else:) [ I&rsquo;m not sure what I expected. To feel less stressed? ] </p> <p>At least I finally did something about this. It&rsquo;s good to know he&rsquo;s there. I feel safe being an anonymous voice on the phone.</p> (set: $stress to (max: $stress-10,0)) (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress WILL: $will EMPATHY: $empathy ] <p><span class="link">[[CHRISTINE->Christine-bumper]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }(set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 70) (set: $comms to 3) (set: $christine to 5) [[Christine-bumper]]{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You&rsquo;ve been a little distracted lately.") [ <div class="hana">Distracted?</div> <div class="christine">Everyone messes up an order from time to time. But in the space of last weekend, you served a rare steak to a vegetarian, a double whisky to a recovering alcoholic, and some Thai noodles to one unfortunate allergic lady with enough peanuts in the sauce to kill her.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">I know all this because I had to apologise to each of them personally.</div> ] (if: $choice is "We&rsquo;ve had some complaints.") [ <div class="hana">Complaints?</div> <div class="christine">Complaints about you.</div> <div class="christine">Look, we both know that guests complain all the time. About the lighting, about the beer, about the colour of the damn mayonnaise when it comes out the sachet. But they&rsquo;ve never complained about you before.</div> <div class="hana">I&mdash;</div> <div class="christine">You screw up their order twice in a row. Or you promise to come back and you don&rsquo;t. Or their glass of wine takes forever and I eventually find out you&rsquo;ve served it to some random in a seat they left half an hour ago.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You&rsquo;ll remember one particular guest.") [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">He&rsquo;d just come off a losing streak at the high blackjack tables and he needed some space to decompress. We comped him a meal and drinks. When it arrived, the meal was cold and the drink had the wrong mixer.</div> <div class="hana">I wasn&rsquo;t feeling very well.</div> <div class="christine">That wasn&rsquo;t even what bothered him. He said you wouldn&rsquo;t look him in the eye, that you never smiled once even though he tried to be nice to you. He said you made him feel like a loser.</div> ] <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sorry.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Come on, Hana, snap out of it!")[(set: $choice to "Come on, Hana, snap out of it!")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+2, 10))(set: $christine to (max: $christine-2, 0))(set: $snapout to true)(goto:"Christine-1C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"This isn&rsquo;t like you.")[(set: $choice to "This isn&rsquo;t like you.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I need you to get it together.")[(set: $choice to "I need you to get it together.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-1C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> (if: $choice is "Come on, Hana, snap out of it!") [ <div class="christine">$choice This isn&rsquo;t rocket science. You take the order, bring it to the table, take the money, smile. Job done. You&rsquo;ve pulled it off for three years. Is your brain just taking the week off? God knows I&rsquo;ve had weeks like that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "This isn&rsquo;t like you.") [ <div class="christine">$choice We both know you&rsquo;re the most competent person on this team. If I got hit by a bus you could step right in and take over. So what&rsquo;s getting in the way?</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know.</div> <div class="christine">I need you to work that out.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I need you to get it together.") [ <div class="christine">$choice Come on, Hana. Whatever&rsquo;s going on in your brain right now, I need you to put it aside while you&rsquo;re on shift.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">What <em>is</em> going on in your brain?</div> ] (if: $comms <= 2) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">Fine. That&rsquo;s another reason you&rsquo;re a good worker, you don&rsquo;t spend all of your time having personal dramas like some of these airheads. I need to be able to trust you, Hana, and rely on you.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ll do better.</div> <div class="christine">I know you will. You just need a kick in the backside and a pat on the head, right?</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Look, you know the line from head office.")[(set: $choice to "Look, you know the line from head office.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice Guests aren&rsquo;t coming here to gamble. They&rsquo;re coming for an &ldquo;experience&rdquo; and we have to construct that experience. Remember the training?</div> <div class="hana">Yes.</div> <div class="christine">You and I both know that&rsquo;s crap drawn up by a bunch of marketing beards who&rsquo;ve never pulled a pint or plated up a fish and chips in their life. Right?</div> (if: $comms <= 2) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">There is a little something in it, though.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;hesitant smile&gt;</span></div> <div class="christine">Right. But there is something in it.</div> ] <div class="christine">We&rsquo;re providing an environment for a night out here. You and I don&rsquo;t need to care whether they gamble. But we have control of the hospitality. When they tell the story of their night out, it can be &ldquo;I dropped two hundred at roulette, but they really made a fuss of me.&rdquo; Or it can be, &ldquo;The waitress didn&rsquo;t seem interested and my food was cold.&rdquo; See?</div> (if: $comms <= 2) [ <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;nods&gt;</span></div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I understand.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you see yourself doing my job, in time?")[(set: $choice to "Do you see yourself doing my job, in time?")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"When you started, you talked about saving up for college.")[(set: $choice to "When you started, you talked about saving up for college.")(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I don&rsquo;t get the sense that you&rsquo;re committed to a career here &hellip;")[(set: $choice to "I don&rsquo;t get the sense that you&rsquo;re committed to a career here &hellip;")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-1E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> (if: $choice is "Do you see yourself doing my job, in time?") [ <div class="christine">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Are you leaving?</div> <div class="christine">Not right now. But this isn&rsquo;t how I plan to spend the rest of my life.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I don&rsquo;t get the sense that you&rsquo;re committed to a career here &hellip;") [ <div class="christine">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I &hellip; I&rsquo;m just getting through it week by week at the moment.</div> <div class="christine">Hmm.</div> ] <div class="christine">At this stage in your career you ought to have some kind of professional mentor. I suppose I&rsquo;m the closest thing you have?</div> <div class="hana">Er &hellip;</div> <div class="christine">All I&rsquo;m really going to say is, think ahead. You don&rsquo;t want to get to my age and still be serving up bad Thai noodles to gamblers. Don&rsquo;t tell anybody I said that.</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;smiles&gt;</span></div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Weren&rsquo;t you planning on going to college?")[(set: $choice to "Weren&rsquo;t you planning on going to college?")(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you have a plan?")[(set: $choice to "Do you have a plan?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-1G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So: Hana, Food and Beverages Manager?")[(set: $choice to "So: Hana, Food and Beverages Manager?")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I was thinking about it. But it was just a stupid idea. I&rsquo;m not really smart enough.</div> <div class="christine">Crap.</div> <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="christine">You&rsquo;re the smartest person on the team. You never have to ask what a word means in the latest inspirational bullshit from head office. You do totals in your head all the time. You could walk any college course you put your mind to.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t think so.</div> <div class="christine">What was it you were going to study?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip; Dental nursing.</div> <div class="christine">No reason you couldn&rsquo;t go the whole way and become a dentist. Not my idea of a good time, but there&rsquo;s crazy money in it. How&rsquo;s your grades?</div> <div class="hana">I kind of screwed them up.</div> (set: $dental to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Have you thought about a career with the casino?")[(set: $choice to "Have you thought about a career with the casino?")(goto:"Christine-1G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You could always resit.")[(set: $choice to "You could always resit.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+4, 100))(set: $resit to true)(goto:"Christine-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"There&rsquo;s only one person who can stop you screwing up.")[(set: $choice to "There&rsquo;s only one person who can stop you screwing up.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Do you have a plan?") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ve been a bit busy.</div> ] (if: $choice is "So: Hana, Food and Beverages Manager?") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know if I would be any good at that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Have you thought about a career with the casino?") [ <div class="hana">I hadn&rsquo;t, really. It&rsquo;s just my job.</div> ] <div class="christine">Well, start thinking about it. Because you only have two viable exit routes from your current job. One is, you get mine when I leave. And the other is, you leave to become something different, whether that be a wife and mother or a rocket scientist.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Are you saying I can&rsquo;t keep this job?</div> <div class="christine">Hana, with the exception of this last week you&rsquo;ve been a fantastic worker. But haven&rsquo;t you noticed? There aren&rsquo;t many middle-aged waitresses on my staff.</div> <div class="hana">Oh.</div> <div class="christine">That&rsquo;s one of the little directives from head office that they never quite spell out.</div> (set: $middleage to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I don&rsquo;t mind which path you choose. But right now, I need you to focus.")[(set: $choice to "I don&rsquo;t mind which path you choose. But right now, I need you to focus.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So, will you think about it?")[(set: $choice to "So, will you think about it?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let&rsquo;s not have this same conversation again next week, OK?")[(set: $choice to "Let&rsquo;s not have this same conversation again next week, OK?")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-1H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: ($choice is "So, will you think about it?") or ($choice is "You could always resit.")) [ <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="christine">Right. Consider this the first in a very limited series of Christine&rsquo;s career seminars. Not available in the shops.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ll think about it.</div> ] (if: ($choice is "There&rsquo;s only one person who can stop you screwing up.") or ($choice is "I don&rsquo;t mind which path you choose. But right now, I need you to focus.") or ($choice is "Let&rsquo;s not have this same conversation again next week, OK?")) [ <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="christine">Because I can tell you, I have to have these inspirational talks to some of them every week and it gets pretty tedious for both of us.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ll try to do better.</div> ] <div class="christine">OK, we&rsquo;re done. At least there&rsquo;s one thing we&rsquo;ve got to look forward to.</div> <div class="hana">One thing?</div> <div class="christine">The new uniforms are coming in next week. They&rsquo;re more like a cocktail dress than a tunic. I cannot wait to get rid of these dorky shirts.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Christine-1-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>The boss called me into her office today. I guess I&rsquo;m not surprised. I have been screwing up orders. And it&rsquo;s difficult to smile at the customers when I&rsquo;m thinking about all this stuff.</p> (if: $christine < 5) [ <p>I always kind of thought Christine was on my side. I&rsquo;m not so sure now.</p> ] (elseif: $christine is 5) [ <p>I suppose I deserved it. You could tell she was more exasperated with me than actually annoyed.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>I got off pretty lightly. I think she knows I work hard and don&rsquo;t mess around.</p> ] <p> (if: $dental) [ She remembered I thought about going to college to do dental nursing. She thinks I could be a dentist! She just doesn&rsquo;t know me that well. But she said some stuff about how smart I was. ] (elseif: $middleage) [ She said a horrible thing about how they have no middle-aged waitresses. Like if I don&rsquo;t eventually go for her job, they&rsquo;ll find a reason to fire me. ] You can tell that she wants me to do well in a career, (if: $resit) [ but when she talks about resitting my exams, all the bad stuff from that period comes flooding right back. I haven&rsquo;t got the energy to study right now. ] (else:) [ and she wants to push me along a bit. It&rsquo;s not what I need right now though. ] </p> (if: $snapout) [ <p>One thing that really hurt was when she told me to &ldquo;snap out of it&rdquo;. People think that&rsquo;s all it takes. &ldquo;Just snap out of it.&rdquo; Don&rsquo;t they think I would if I could?</p> ] <p> (if: ($stress > $basestress)) [ I feel more stressed after that telling off. (if: ($christine > 5)) [ Even though I think she was trying to help, in a strange way. ] (else:) [ I must try not to let what I&rsquo;m feeling affect my work. ] ] (else:) [ It wasn&rsquo;t as stressful as it could have been. Some of the others apparently get this talk every week. ] (if: ($doom >= 2)) [ I suppose I thought I could just keep on doing my job at the casino for ever. It&rsquo;s not perfect, but I know I can handle the work and it keeps me out of the spotlight. But Christine was saying there&rsquo;s a time limit on that. Great. More pressure. ] (else:) [ I&rsquo;ve just got to keep turning up and get through it. And practice my fake smile. ] </p> (if: ($stress >= 68) or ($doom >= 4)) [ <p>I did it again tonight, just to take the pressure off. I feel totally trapped. (set: $health to (max: $health-1, 0)) ] </p> <p>Christine says the new uniforms are coming next week. I have literally no idea what I am going to do about that.</p> (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress CHRISTINE: $christine DOOM: $doom ] <p><span class="link">[[JEN->Jen-1A]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div class="bumper"> <img src="images/jen.png"/> <div class="bumpertext"> <h1>Jen</h1> <p>Jen used to work with Hana in a previous job. She only lasted four weeks before she left after an argument with management. She now works front-of-house at a local theatre.</p> <p>Hana and Jen stayed in touch and have become friends, sometimes going to the cinema or a music gig. Jen has a wide social circle and loves parties. But she values Hana&rsquo;s more thoughtful and cerebral companionship.</p> <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/> <p><span class="link">[[CONTINUE->Jen-1C]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="left"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <!-- ALIEN measures Hana's sense of removal. (0-10) --> (set: $alien to 0) <!-- BASESTRESS records Hana's stress levels at the start of the scene. --> (set: $basestress to $stress) <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="hana">Hey Jen.</div> <div class="jen">Whatcha doin&rsquo;?</div> (if: $health < 2) [ <div class="hana">Nothing.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">Just reading.</div> ] <div class="jen">You want to hear a stupid thing?</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="jen">Remember I got those orange shoes last year?</div> <div class="hana">The ones with the big wedges?</div> <div class="jen">Right. And you remember I&rsquo;ve never worn them because I don&rsquo;t have anything that goes with orange?</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="jen">Well, I dyed my hair orange.</div> <div class="hana">Wow.</div> <div class="jen">Not like ginger or henna or anything. Proper orange. Like, you know, an orange.</div> <div class="hana">I believe you.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You totally have to let me dye yours the same colour.")[(set: $choice to "You totally have to let me dye yours the same colour.")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Jen-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Of course, I can only wear black clothes now.")[(set: $choice to "Of course, I can only wear black clothes now.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-3, 0))(goto:"Jen-1B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"It&rsquo;s not exactly the same orange &hellip;")[(set: $choice to "It&rsquo;s not exactly the same orange &hellip;")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-3, 0))(goto:"Jen-1B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> (if: $choice is "You totally have to let me dye yours the same colour.") [ <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t think we might look &hellip;</div> <div class="jen">Ridiculous? Idiotic? Like those streetlight things that mark zebra crossings?</div> <div class="hana">Well, yeah. Also, my boss would kill me.</div> <div class="jen">You spoil all my fun.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Of course, I can only wear black clothes now.") [ <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Why?</div> <div class="jen">If you have orange hair and orange shoes, literally nothing goes with them except black. It&rsquo;s like that thing about nothing rhyming with orange.</div> <div class="hana">Except black.</div> <div class="jen">Exactly.</div> ] (if: $choice is "It&rsquo;s not exactly the same orange &hellip;") [ <div class="jen">$choice My hair&rsquo;s a bit redder. It is absolutely going to fade to the perfect match with my shoes after a couple of washes though.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sure.</div> <div class="jen">Or I will be writing to somebody to complain.</div> <div class="jen">&hellip; I&rsquo;m not quite sure who.</div> <div class="hana">You would think there would be a web site to check this stuff.</div> <div class="jen">There actually is. But the colour on my monitor is screwed.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JEN->Jen-bumper]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">So, there was this guy at the weekend &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I thought there might have been.</div> <div class="jen">Miaow! Actually I thought even you would have liked him. He came up to me in the bar and gave me a line, but it was a good one.</div> <div class="hana">Let&rsquo;s hear it.</div> <div class="jen">He said he was vitamin C deficient and could he just hang out with me for his health.</div> <div class="hana">Because of the orange.</div> <div class="jen">Because of the orange. The thing is, I got self-conscious about my bob and that it was too short and my head just looked like an orange, so I kept wanting to ask him if my head looked like an orange. So I might have seemed a bit distracted. But I gave him my number so we&rsquo;ll see if he calls.</div> <div class="hana">Do you want him to?</div> <div class="jen">I suppose.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"So, what&rsquo;s been happening with you?")[(set: $choice to "So, what&rsquo;s been happening with you?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-1D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What about that guy we met? The booky type who liked you?")[(set: $choice to "What about that guy we met? The booky type who liked you?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Want to do something next weekend?")[(set: $choice to "Want to do something next weekend?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+2, 10))(goto:"Jen-1D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "So, what&rsquo;s been happening with you?") [ <div class="hana">Oh, you know, work. I haven&rsquo;t really had time for anything else.</div> <div class="jen">You&rsquo;re too young for this stuff. You totally need to swipe a couple of thousand pound chips off somebody&rsquo;s stack.</div> <div class="hana">They watch us too close for that.</div> <div class="jen">Well, then we need to get you into more cheap bars during the week.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Want to do something next weekend?") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ve got to work. Friday and Saturday nights.</div> <div class="jen">You work too hard. How about the weekend after?</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ll need to check the schedule.</div> <div class="jen">OK, well, let me know.</div> ] <div class="hana">Tell me more about this guy you met.</div> <div class="jen">Ah, you know, the usual. Bit cocky, good hair, bad teeth. Dresses like a lumberjack.</div> <div class="hana">Sounds like your type.</div> <div class="jen">Maybe. We&rsquo;ve talked about him too much already.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did you get anywhere with that booky guy?")[(set: $choice to "Did you get anywhere with that booky guy?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How <em>are</em> things at work?")[(set: $choice to "How <em>are</em> things at work?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Thought any more about looking for another job?")[(set: $choice to "Thought any more about looking for another job?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-1F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">He wasn&rsquo;t that booky. We were just talking about Harry Potter.</div> <div class="jen">Hmpf. On the scale of guys I meet, that counts as poet laureate.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;re exaggerating.</div> <div class="jen">Not as much as you think. Anyway, how&rsquo;d it go with this guy? Did he call you?</div> <div class="hana">He gave me his number. I didn&rsquo;t give him mine.</div> <div class="jen">So did you call him?</div> <div class="hana">Nah.</div> <div class="jen">Why not?</div> <div class="hana">I just didn&rsquo;t fancy him.</div> <div class="jen">But you could have talked about books.</div> <div class="hana">I have the internet for that.</div> (set: $bookyguy to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You never follow up, do you?")[(set: $choice to "You never follow up, do you?")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(set: $followup to true)(set: $alien to (min: $alien+2, 10))(goto:"Jen-1G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Anyone you like at work?")[(set: $choice to "Anyone you like at work?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Hana &hellip; are you gay?")[(set: $choice to "Hana &hellip; are you gay?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-3, 0))(set: $yougay to true)(goto:"Jen-1G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Thought any more about looking for another job?") [ <div class="hana">Yeah, I might need to.</div> <div class="jen">How come?</div> ] (if: $choice is "Anyone you like at work?") [ <div class="hana">If there was, I might need to take up gambling.</div> <div class="jen">Eh?</div> ] <div class="hana">I might be getting fired.</div> <div class="jen">What?</div> <div class="hana">My boss called me into her office and gave me the third degree. Said I&rsquo;d been messing up orders and I&rsquo;d better think about my future.</div> <div class="jen">What a bitch!</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen"><em>Have</em> you been messing up orders?</div> <div class="hana">A bit, yeah.</div> (if: $middleage) [ <div class="hana">She also said they don&rsquo;t keep older waitresses on.</div> <div class="jen">That&rsquo;s awful! And kind of illegal.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s not like I taped it.</div> ] <div class="jen">Do you need me to pretend to be a high roller and complain about her for some bullshit reason?</div> <div class="hana">Not yet. But thanks.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ll call you next week, all right?")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ll call you next week, all right?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Jen-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let&rsquo;s go shopping soon. You need some orange in your wardrobe.")[(set: $choice to "Let&rsquo;s go shopping soon. You need some orange in your wardrobe.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Jen-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Have you spoken to your mum lately?")[(set: $choice to "Have you spoken to your mum lately?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-1I")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You never follow up, do you?") [ <div class="hana">I just haven&rsquo;t met a guy I like enough.</div> <div class="jen">You know they&rsquo;re all fundamentally a disappointment, right? So you might as well compromise.</div> <div class="hana">Not encouraging me to follow up here.</div> <div class="jen">Ah, better a nun like you than an all-out slut like me.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;re not helping.</div> <div class="jen">It&rsquo;s what I do.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Hana &hellip; are you gay?") [ <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="jen">I just want you to know, it wouldn&rsquo;t screw up our relationship or anything. Even when you get the pageboy cut and the check shirts, I&rsquo;ll still come and hang out with you. And meet your stocky friend Matilda and go on all the marches and stuff.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not gay.</div> <div class="jen">Oh, thank God. That Matilda is <em>such</em> a bore.</div> <div class="hana">You are an awful woman.</div> <div class="jen">Right back atcha.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Speaking of which, how&rsquo;s your mother?")[(set: $choice to "Speaking of which, how&rsquo;s your mother?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So, next week, we&rsquo;re shopping for an orange outfit for you.")[(set: $choice to "So, next week, we&rsquo;re shopping for an orange outfit for you.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Jen-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ll call you next week, all right?")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ll call you next week, all right?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Jen-1H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I&rsquo;ll call you next week, all right?") [ <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="jen">I know these little updates from me are what keeps your life of drudgery worth living.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s true.</div> ] (if: ($choice is "So, next week, we&rsquo;re shopping for an orange outfit for you.") or ($choice is "Let&rsquo;s go shopping soon. You need some orange in your wardrobe.")) [ <div class="hana">I do not need more orange in my wardrobe.</div> <div class="jen">You do if you want to be seen beside me.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sorry we can no longer be friends.</div> ] <div class="jen">Anyway &hellip;</div> <div class="jen">I&rsquo;ll let you know how things go with this guy. He is probably a spectacular dork. But then, all of them are.</div> <div class="hana">Keep me posted.</div> <div class="jen">OK. Speak soon.</div> <div class="hana">Bye.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-1-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>Jen called to talk about dyeing her hair orange. If life gets slow, she always has to manufacture drama. But at least I understand her.</p> (if: $stress < ($basestress-1)) [ <p>Her crazy demands kind of relax me, actually. I know she isn&rsquo;t actually going to make me buy an orange jacket or anything. It&rsquo;s so different from anything real.</p> ] (elseif: $stress > ($basestress+1)) [ <p>She does push me about things like meeting a guy and changing my job. I wish she would realise that I need to come at that in my own time.</p> ] (if: $stress >= 72) [ <p>I can still feel the pressure building up. Sometimes I&rsquo;m jealous of Jen, because she just doesn&rsquo;t have that problem.</p> ] (elseif: $stress >= 63) [ <p>Jen can be a really caring person. If she would just learn to ease off a little, things could be brilliant.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>I&rsquo;m feeling a bit more relaxed than I was. Talking to Will and Jen has kind of calmed me down.</p> ] (if: $bookyguy) [ <p>She asked about that Harry Potter guy. I threw away his phone number. He was a decent person, I suppose. But what&rsquo;s the point in leading him on? How could I have a relationship with anybody? I think about what his face would do when he first saw me naked, and I can&rsquo;t bear it. (if: $followup) [ Jen kind of pissed me off, saying something about &ldquo;I never follow up&rdquo;. Maybe if she&rsquo;d stop trying to make me operate on her terms and try harder to understand me, we&rsquo;d be closer. ] </p> ] <p>I know Jen wants to go out more with me, and I should be flattered because she&rsquo;s got lots of friends. (if: $alien >= 4) [ But my life is so, so different from hers. She makes me feel like a social failure. (set: $comms to (max: $comms-1, 0)) ] (elseif: $alien >= 2) [ But it&rsquo;s just one more thing I don&rsquo;t have the mental space for right now. ] (else:) [ I&rsquo;m going to try harder. But it&rsquo;s not fun for me at all. ] </p> (if: $yougay) [ <p>Oh yeah! She also asked if I was gay. It was funny, actually. And if I played for that team I certainly wouldn&rsquo;t be hitting on some orange-haired weirdo.</p> ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress JEN: $jen ALIENATION: $alien ] <p><span class="link">[[WILL->Will-2A]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">She&rsquo;s OK. I think she&rsquo;s still mad at me because I didn&rsquo;t go over for her birthday. It was between two late shifts.</div> <div class="jen">But you sent her flowers, and a card done in beautiful calligraphy, right? And a bag of diamonds.</div> <div class="hana">I might not have done any of that.</div> <div class="jen">I never understand why you two don&rsquo;t get on. My mum feels so guilty about the mess she made of my upbringing that she constantly sends me food and money.</div> <div class="hana">That would work for me.</div> <div class="jen">I better go. Speak to you soon.</div> <div class="hana">Bye.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-1-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="will">Hello, HeadLine. Can I help you?</div> <div class="hana">Is that &hellip; Will?</div> <div class="will">Yes. We&rsquo;ve spoken before, haven&rsquo;t we?</div> <div class="hana">I called last week. It&rsquo;s Hana.</div> <div class="will">I remember. Hello again, Hana.</div> <div class="hana">I called last night, but they said you weren&rsquo;t working again until tonight.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You know you can speak to anyone here.")[(set: $choice to "You know you can speak to anyone here.")(set: $will to (max: $will-1, 0))(set: $empathy to (max: $empathy-2, 0))(set: $speakany to true)(goto:"Will-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"It&rsquo;s good you called back.")[(set: $choice to "It&rsquo;s good you called back.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How have things been?")[(set: $choice to "How have things been?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Will-2B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You know you can speak to anyone here.") [ (if: $will < 2) [ <div class="hana">I know. But it takes me a while to get used to people.</div> <div class="will">OK.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I know. But you seemed &hellip; patient.</div> <div class="will">Thanks.</div> ] ] (if: $choice is "It&rsquo;s good you called back.") [ <div class="hana">I suppose that you have to show that your service is popular? For funding or something.</div> <div class="will">I&rsquo;m just glad to speak to you again.</div> (if: $health <= 2) [ <div class="hana">Really?</div> <div class="will">Yeah.</div> ] ] (if: $choice is "How have things been?") [ <div class="hana">Well &hellip; um.</div> ] <div class="hana">Can I ask you some questions about the helpline?</div> <div class="will">Of course.</div> <div class="hana">What do you mean by &ldquo;anonymous&rdquo;?</div> <div class="will">It means you don&rsquo;t have to tell us who you are. A name is handy, just for the conversation, but we don&rsquo;t try to identify you or anything like that.</div> <div class="hana">And what about &ldquo;confidential&rdquo;?</div> <div class="will">It means whatever you tell us is never passed on to other people or groups.</div> <div class="hana">Hm.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is there a particular reason you&rsquo;re asking?")[(set: $choice to "Is there a particular reason you&rsquo;re asking?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Will-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"It sounds like this stuff worries you.")[(set: $choice to "It sounds like this stuff worries you.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Has somebody betrayed your confidence before?")[(set: $choice to "Has somebody betrayed your confidence before?")(goto:"Will-2C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Is there a particular reason you&rsquo;re asking?") [ <div class="hana">I just want to know how it works.</div> <div class="will">OK.</div> ] (if: $choice is "It sounds like this stuff worries you.") [ <div class="hana">No. Well, sort of. But no.</div> <div class="will">OK &hellip;</div> ] (if: $choice is "Has somebody betrayed your confidence before?") [ <div class="hana">No. Well &hellip; not since school.</div> <div class="will">What happened at school?</div> <div class="hana">Never mind that.</div> ] <div class="hana">What if I said I murdered someone or something like that? Would you have to tell the police?</div> <div class="will">Er. Have you murdered someone?</div> <div class="hana">No. But say you thought I was suicidal. You&rsquo;d have to tell the police then.</div> <div class="will">Are you suicidal?</div> <div class="hana">No! But what if I said I was?</div> <div class="will">I might encourage you to seek help. But it would be your choice. I&rsquo;m just here to listen.</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You said before, you think you have a problem.")[(set: $choice to "You said before, you think you have a problem.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Will-2D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Last time you said you weren&rsquo;t ready to talk.")[(set: $choice to "Last time you said you weren&rsquo;t ready to talk.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Will-2D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is there something you do want to tell me?")[(set: $choice to "Is there something you do want to tell me?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(goto:"Will-2D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You said before, you think you have a problem.") [ <div class="hana">A lot of the time I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s a problem. But I kind of know it is.</div> <div class="will">OK.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Last time you said you weren&rsquo;t ready to talk.") [ <div class="hana">I still don&rsquo;t know if I am. Is that OK?</div> <div class="will">That&rsquo;s OK.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Is there something you do want to tell me?") [ <div class="hana">I do and I don&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="will">Take your time.</div> ] <div class="hana">Do you ever feel under pressure?</div> <div class="will">Sometimes.</div> <div class="hana">How do you deal with it?</div> <div class="will">Probably not very well. How do <em>you</em> deal with it?</div> <div class="hana">It builds up and up. Sometimes it&rsquo;s just stupid things like how somebody looks at me or something they say. I get obsessed with what they&rsquo;re thinking about me.</div> <div class="will">OK &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">But the bigger stuff &hellip; it stops me sleeping. I work late shifts, so in the summer the sun shines round the curtains when I&rsquo;m going to bed. And I know I&rsquo;m tired, but everything keeps going round in my head.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I think everybody has times like that.")[(set: $choice to "I think everybody has times like that.")(set: $empathy to (max: $empathy-2, 0))(set $everybody to true)(goto:"Will-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"That&rsquo;s why you call in the middle of the night.")[(set: $choice to "That&rsquo;s why you call in the middle of the night.")(goto:"Will-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What keeps going round in your head?")[(set: $choice to "What keeps going round in your head?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Will-2E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I think everybody has times like that.") [ <div class="hana">Do they? Then why don&rsquo;t they all look as tired as I feel?</div> <div class="will">I don&rsquo;t know. Sorry, please go on.</div> ] (if: $choice is "That&rsquo;s why you call in the middle of the night.") [ <div class="hana">When I close my eyes, there&rsquo;s nothing to distract me. I want to sleep, but instead I keep thinking about this stuff.</div> <div class="will">What stuff?</div> ] <div class="hana">Like, am I wasting my life? I&rsquo;m not stupid but I screwed up my exams. I have a shit job and I can&rsquo;t even do that right. I don&rsquo;t have any savings &mdash; because I&rsquo;m a terrible cook and I just get takeaways all the time. And the idea of a relationship with a guy terrifies me.</div> <div class="will">You&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m nearly twenty. I should have a direction, right? I should be thinking about buying a house and moving in with someone. And confronting bad attitudes with proper feminist arguments. Instead I&rsquo;m going to get old living in this shitty flat, buying a small carton of milk every day because I can&rsquo;t get the landlord to fix the fridge. And I&rsquo;m going to be lonely.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You&rsquo;re being pretty hard on yourself.")[(set: $choice to "You&rsquo;re being pretty hard on yourself.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Not everybody goes the &ldquo;house and kids&rdquo; route.")[(set: $choice to "Not everybody goes the &ldquo;house and kids&rdquo; route.")(goto:"Will-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You sound angry.")[(set: $choice to "You sound angry.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You&rsquo;re being pretty hard on yourself.") [ <div class="hana">You have no idea. But I deserve it. I&rsquo;m pathetic, really. Just listen to me.</div> <div class="will">I don&rsquo;t think you&rsquo;re pathetic.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Not everybody goes the &ldquo;house and kids&rdquo; route.") [ <div class="hana">But I do want that. A nice house and a sunny garden and some idiot who loves me. It&rsquo;s just never going to happen.</div> <div class="will">It seems a bit early to give up on that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You sound angry.") [ <div class="hana">I am angry. At myself. It&rsquo;s my own fault.</div> <div class="will">It seems courageous to call and talk about this.</div> ] <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t know me.</div> <div class="will">You started this by talking about pressure.</div> <div class="hana">Everyone suggests how to fix it. Take night classes to make up the grades. Try for promotion. Sign up for a dating site. Take a bloody cookery course. And all the time there&rsquo;s this clock ticking, louder and louder. Everybody I know is meeting people, starting a business, posting selfies. And my mother nags me and my boss harasses me and there&rsquo;s this voice speaking in my head, saying life is a precious thing and a privilege and I am totally squandering it. </div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"It sounds like you&rsquo;re the one putting the pressure on.")[(set: $choice to "It sounds like you&rsquo;re the one putting the pressure on.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Will-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"That&rsquo;s a lot to handle at once.")[(set: $choice to "That&rsquo;s a lot to handle at once.")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How do <em>you</em> think you could fix it?")[(set: $choice to "How do <em>you</em> think you could fix it?")(goto:"Will-2G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "It sounds like you&rsquo;re the one putting the pressure on.") [ <div class="hana">Maybe. But it doesn&rsquo;t make it any less real.</div> ] (if: $choice is "That&rsquo;s a lot to handle at once.") [ <div class="hana">Well, yeah. But then I see a TV advert about African kids who can&rsquo;t get clean water or some woman who&rsquo;s survived breast cancer and I think, you over-privileged crybaby.</div> ] (if: $choice is "How do <em>you</em> think you could fix it?") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t think I can.</div> ] <div class="will">You asked me how I deal with my pressure. How do you deal with yours?</div> <div class="hana">Well, I &hellip; when it gets too much, I &hellip;</div> <div class="will">Take your time.</div> <div class="hana">When it gets too much, I &hellip;</div> (if: ($will + $empathy) < 8) [ <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">[[&hellip;->Will-2H]]</div> </div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">&hellip; you&rsquo;re not going to want to talk to me once you hear this.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ll still talk to you. I promise.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ll still talk to you. I promise.")(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-2I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Tell me.")[(set: $choice to "Tell me.")(goto:"Will-2I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ve probably heard worse.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ve probably heard worse.")(set: $will to (max: $will-1, 0))(set: $empathy to (max: $empathy-2, 0))(goto:"Will-2I")]</div> </div> ] }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">Damn!</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Will-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>I phoned the helpline back. I made sure to get Will again. (if: $speakany) [ But the first thing he said was that I could speak to anyone. Maybe it was meant to be reassuring, but it made me feel like he didn&rsquo;t really want to talk to me. ] (else:) [ I&rsquo;m glad I did, because he remembered what I&rsquo;d said before, and we just slipped back into talking. It wasn&rsquo;t awkward or anything. (if: $comms <= 2) [ Which of course for me is a minor miracle. ] ] </p> (if: $toldwill) [ <p>I told him that I cut myself. I can&rsquo;t believe I did it. I closed my eyes when I said it, like I thought he would shout at me or call an ambulance or something. But he didn&rsquo;t do either of those things.</p> <p>I didn&rsquo;t get deep into the details or anything. I just wanted to say the words to another person, and it helps that he doesn&rsquo;t know me.</p> <p>I feel a bit less stressed actually, just because I let it out. Sound familiar?</p> (set: $stress to (max: $stress-12, 0)) (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) ] (else:) [ <p>I hung up on him again. I am a real idiot.</p> ] (if: $empathy >= 7) [ <p>It feels like he really understands me. I&rsquo;m not sure why, but it does. Maybe it&rsquo;s just because he lets me take my time and doesn&rsquo;t push me. And he actually seems interested in what I have to say.</p> ] (elseif: $empathy >= 4) [ <p>He seems to understand what I&rsquo;m saying. At least he doesn&rsquo;t tell me I shouldn&rsquo;t feel the way I do.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>But I&rsquo;m not sure he understands what I&rsquo;m feeling. Sometimes it&rsquo;s like he&rsquo;s working from a script or something. Like I&rsquo;m a puzzle he has to solve. I&rsquo;m not. I have feelings.</p> ] (if: $everybody) [ <p>I was trying to explain, and he said &ldquo;everybody has times like that&rdquo;. I think he was trying to make me feel more normal, but it just made me feel like he wasn&rsquo;t really engaging with what I said.</p> ] (if: $will >= 3) [ <p>I wish the guys I met socially were more like Will, kind of calm and funny.</p> ] (if: $stress <= 52) [ <p>I feel like I might get a good night&rsquo;s sleep tonight.</p> (set: $health to (min: $health+2, 10)) ] (elseif: $stress <= 65) [ <p>I&rsquo;m still feeling tense, but not as much as I was.</p> (set: $health to (min: $health+1, 10)) ] (elseif: $stress > 71) [ <p>I feel so tired, but I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ll sleep tonight.</p> (set: $health to (max: $health-1, 0)) ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress WILL: $will EMPATHY: $empathy ] <p><span class="link">[[JEN->Jen-2A]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I cut myself.</div> <div class="will">You cut yourself.</div> <div class="hana">I get a knife and I cut into my arm.</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Not like a kitchen knife or something. I use a craft knife or a scalpel. I lock the door, and I cut into my arm, and blood comes out. Sometimes a lot of blood. And soon I feel better.</div> <div class="will">I &hellip; understand.</div> <div class="hana">Do you? I&rsquo;m not sure I do. But it works.</div> <div class="will">Doesn&rsquo;t it hurt?</div> <div class="hana">Oh yeah. But it still makes things better.</div> <div class="will">How long have you been doing this?</div> <div class="hana">Since I was at school.</div> <div class="will">And now you&rsquo;re worried about it?</div> <div class="hana">In some ways, it&rsquo;s just a thing I do. It doesn&rsquo;t matter what other people think. But I&rsquo;ve &hellip; pushed it too far a couple of times. It&rsquo;s kind of like smoking I suppose. You know even when you&rsquo;re doing it that it&rsquo;s not a terrific idea. That it harms you. But you do it anyway.</div> (set: $toldwill to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do your friends and family know you do this?")[(set: $choice to "Do your friends and family know you do this?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(goto:"Will-2J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What made you decide to call us about this?")[(set: $choice to "What made you decide to call us about this?")(goto:"Will-2J")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Pushed it too far?")[(set: $choice to "Pushed it too far?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Will-2J")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Do your friends and family know you do this?") [ <div class="hana">None of my friends. And my mother is about the last person in the world I would tell.</div> <div class="will">I can relate to that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "What made you decide to call us about this?") [ <div class="hana">The dress code at work is changing. I&rsquo;m going to have to show my arms.</div> <div class="will">Ah.</div> <div class="hana">It means I&rsquo;ll lose my job. It&rsquo;s that simple. Everything&rsquo;s about appearances there.</div> <div class="will">That doesn&rsquo;t sound like that would be legal.</div> <div class="hana">Maybe not. But they&rsquo;ll find a way.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Pushed it too far?") [ <div class="hana">Cut too deep.</div> <div class="will">Right.</div> ] <div class="will">So when you say that&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">I kind of want to talk more about this. A lot more. But &hellip; I need to work up to it. This was enough for tonight. Is that OK?</div> <div class="will">Whatever you want, Hana. So will you call back?</div> <div class="hana">I think so.</div> <div class="will">I hope you do.</div> <div class="hana">Thanks. Thanks for listening.</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Will-2-journal]]</div> </div> }(set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 70) (set: $comms to 3) (set: $jen to 7) [[Jen-1A]](set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 70) (set: $comms to 3) (set: $will to 3) (set: $empathy to 2) [[Will-2A]]{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="hana">Hey Jen.</div> <div class="jen">Whatcha doin&rsquo;?</div> (if: $health < 2) [ <div class="hana">Nothing.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">The dishes.</div> ] <div class="jen">OK.</div> <div class="jen">I&rsquo;m going to tell you something, and you&rsquo;ve not to get mad, right?</div> <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="jen">You have to promise.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not promising until I hear it.</div> <div class="jen">Well, you remember the vitamin C guy?</div> <div class="hana">Yeah &hellip;</div> <div class="jen">He called me. He said his health had been suffering and he&rsquo;d been thinking about my orange hair and he needed to see me.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not mad about that.</div> <div class="jen">Yeah, but he has a single friend, and we&rsquo;re double dating them on Monday.</div> (set: $stress to (min: $stress+10, 100)) (set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0)) (if: $stress > 60) [ <div class="hana">I&mdash; I can&rsquo;t make it.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know if I can &hellip;</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Sorry, you have to.")[(set: $choice to "Sorry, you have to.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why not?")[(set: $choice to "Why not?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You totally can.")[(set: $choice to "You totally can.")(goto:"Jen-2B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Why not?") [ <div class="hana">I have to work.</div> <div class="jen">No you don&rsquo;t, you never work Mondays. I know that and that&rsquo;s why I booked it for Monday.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Sorry, you have to.") [ <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="jen">You have to. It&rsquo;s just one of these unfair things like getting old or being blamed for a murder you didn&rsquo;t commit.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You totally can.") [ <div class="hana">I totally can&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="jen">You totally can.</div> <div class="hana">I totally can&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="jen">No, you totally can. I&rsquo;m on unlimited minutes here. I can do this all day.</div> ] <div class="hana">OK, I don&rsquo;t want to.</div> <div class="jen">And why not?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let me tell you why.")[(set: $choice to "Let me tell you why.")(goto:"Jen-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You can be honest with me.")[(set: $choice to "You can be honest with me.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-2D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I think I can guess.")[(set: $choice to "I think I can guess.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-2C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Let me tell you why.") [ <div class="jen">Because you had a bad experience with your last relationship and it&rsquo;s easier to just stay in and not take chances. Or because you&rsquo;re not happy with the way you look right now and it&rsquo;s easier to just stay in and not take chances. Or because you&rsquo;ve got no clean pants and it&rsquo;s easier to just stay in and not take chances.</div> <div class="hana">My pants are clean!</div> ] (if: $choice is "I think I can guess.") [ <div class="jen">Because the last time you went on a date, something went wrong, and at the time it was quite a small thing, but you&rsquo;ve had the time since then to build it up in your mind into a huge thing, and the idea that it might happen again is so overwhelming that it&rsquo;s easier just to avoid it for the rest of your life.</div> <div class="hana">That never happened.</div> ] <div class="jen">So <em>you</em> say.</div> <div class="hana">You think you&rsquo;re some super detective, but you&rsquo;re not.</div> <div class="jen">I do watch a lot of them on TV.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let me explain how our relationship works.")[(set: $choice to "Let me explain how our relationship works.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Detective or not, I know what&rsquo;s good for you.")[(set: $choice to "Detective or not, I know what&rsquo;s good for you.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"If it helps, you don&rsquo;t have to wear orange.")[(set: $choice to "If it helps, you don&rsquo;t have to wear orange.")(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> (if: ($choice is "Let me explain how our friendship works.") or ($choice is "Let me explain how our relationship works.")) [ <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="jen">I&rsquo;m the charming socialite with a heart of gold but not much up top. You&rsquo;re the thoughtful introvert who finds social interaction uncomfortable and awkward. I push you to meet new people. You give me the education I never had. Together, we fight crime.</div> <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t want to fight crime. You want to go on a blind date.</div> <div class="jen">It&rsquo;s not a blind date for <em>me</em>.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (if: $choice is "Detective or not, I know what&rsquo;s good for you.") [ <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t know me as well as you think.</div> <div class="jen">And where better to learn than on a double date?</div> ] (if: $choice is "If it helps, you don&rsquo;t have to wear orange.") [ <div class="jen">$choice I don&rsquo;t want the vitamin C guy to get confused and transfer his affections.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t want that either.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I can send strict instructions about how your guy is to dress and behave.") [ <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="jen">I&rsquo;ll send him a style guide and a Victorian book on deportment and manners. I&rsquo;ll say, &ldquo;This is the standard my friend Hana demands.&rdquo;</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] <div class="jen">Seriously, Han. I&rsquo;m your friend. When I think you&rsquo;re in a rut, it&rsquo;s kind of in my job description to dig you out of it.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t need you to do that.</div> <div class="jen">Yeah, but, job description.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m fine without some guy hanging around.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I want to give it a go with this guy. Help me out here?")[(set: $choice to "I want to give it a go with this guy. Help me out here?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+5, 100))(set: $helpout to true)(goto:"Jen-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"He might be a really nice person.")[(set: $choice to "He might be a really nice person.")(goto:"Jen-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do it this once. If you hate it, we don&rsquo;t need to do it again.")[(set: $choice to "Do it this once. If you hate it, we don&rsquo;t need to do it again.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-2F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I just don&rsquo;t want to go out with some random guy.</div> <div class="jen">How could you not like comedy vitamin C man&rsquo;s best friend?</div> <div class="hana">What&rsquo;s he like?</div> <div class="jen">I have no idea.</div> <div class="hana">What is he into?</div> <div class="jen">Books and shit.</div> <div class="hana">What kind of books?</div> <div class="jen">I dunno, I just made that bit up.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let me explain how our friendship works.")[(set: $choice to "Let me explain how our friendship works.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I can send strict instructions about how your guy is to dress and behave.")[(set: $choice to "I can send strict instructions about how your guy is to dress and behave.")(set: $jen to (min: $jen+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"If it helps, you don&rsquo;t have to wear orange.")[(set: $choice to "If it helps, you don&rsquo;t have to wear orange.")(goto:"Jen-2E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I want to give it a go with this guy. Help me out here?") [ (if: $comms >= 3) [ <div class="hana">I feel really weird about this.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] ] (if: $choice is "He might be a really nice person.") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not saying he&rsquo;s not nice. I just don&rsquo;t know if I want to go on a blind date.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Do it this once. If you hate it, we don&rsquo;t need to do it again.") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know.</div> ] <div class="hana">You haven&rsquo;t even met this guy I&rsquo;m supposed to be dating.</div> <div class="jen">That&rsquo;s not how a double date works. It just adds two more people to the social pool so that when the couple who are <em>actually</em> on the date have an awkward silence, the other two step in to fill it.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;re choosing <em>me</em> to prevent awkward silences? Seriously?</div> <div class="jen">I guess I&rsquo;m relying on the unknown male.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Come on Hana, it&rsquo;ll be fun. I promise.")[(set: $choice to "Come on Hana, it&rsquo;ll be fun. I promise.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Take a chance for once.")[(set: $choice to "Take a chance for once.")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What&rsquo;s really bothering you about this?")[(set: $choice to "What&rsquo;s really bothering you about this?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-2H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Come on Hana, it&rsquo;ll be fun. I promise.") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not sure we think the same things are fun.</div> <div class="jen">It&rsquo;s OK, I can fix that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Take a chance for once.") [ <div class="hana">I work in a casino. I know all about taking chances and what happens when you do.</div> ] <div class="jen">Look, just say yes. The worst case scenario is, you have to put up with chat from two tedious guys for a couple of hours, you point out what&rsquo;s wrong with mine, and I&rsquo;m forever in your debt.</div> <div class="hana">I can think of worse cases than that.</div> <div class="jen">OK, but the <em>best</em> case is, you meet a guy you really like. So I&rsquo;ll see you on Monday at eight, right? Say yes.</div> (set: $worstcase to true) (if: $health <= 2) [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know.</div> <div class="jen">Well, just don&rsquo;t say no then.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;ll try.</div> <div class="jen">Attagirl.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>Jen has set me up on a blind date. Well, it&rsquo;s a double date, but I know how it will go: (if: $comms >= 3) [ me making awkward smalltalk with a stranger ] (else:) [ me staring at the table ] while (if: $jen >= 6) [ Jen does her thing. ] (else:) [ Jen eats this other guy&rsquo;s face. ] She seems to have decided that I&rsquo;m in a rut and she&rsquo;s going to push me out of it. She has no idea.</p> <p>She thinks she knows me so well. But (if: $health < 2) [ if she really knew what was going on in my head she&rsquo;d never pick up that phone. And that&rsquo;s why I can never tell her.</p> ] (else:) [ she doesn&rsquo;t know why I never want to go shopping for shorts or strappy tops. Maybe I could tell her if she would just stop making all this drama about things that don&rsquo;t matter.</p> ] (if: $alien > 3) [ <p>I feel really removed from Jen sometimes. Like we live in totally different worlds and speak totally different languages.</p> (set: $comms to (max: $comms-1, 0)) ] (elseif: $alien < 2) [ <p>I&rsquo;m still glad to have Jen as a friend, even though she&rsquo;s such a pain. In a strange way, I feel like <em>I</em> can help <em>her.</em></p> (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) ] (if: $helpout) [ <p>Jen seems to really like this guy. She put it like, can I help her out? But that feels a bit like emotional blackmail. Maybe if she&rsquo;d asked me <em>before</em> she set up the date, that would have been different.</p> (set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0)) ] (if: $worstcase) [ <p>She said the worst case scenario was that I had to chat to tedious guys for a couple of hours. That&rsquo;s not the worst case. What if mine touches me and rolls up my sleeve trying to be seductive or something? Then it&rsquo;s just three people in a bar staring at the freak girl. Whose friend will never talk to her again.</p> <p>And I can imagine a lot worse than that.</p> (set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100)) ] (else:) [ <p>We talked about me being a party pooper. I&rsquo;m not and I really don&rsquo;t want to be. But until I know someone, I can&rsquo;t feel safe with them. For her it&rsquo;s all guys and attention. For me it&rsquo;s about walking on the edge of disaster.</p> ] <!-- At this point we do a stress check and if Hana is too stressed, end --> <!-- Maintaining health or confiding in Will gets a free pass --> (if: (($health < 2) and ($toldwill is false)) and ($stress >= 85)) [ (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress JEN: $jen ALIENATION: $alien ] <p>I can&rsquo;t cope with this pressure from Jen on top of everything else.</p> <p><span class="link">[[NEXT DAY->Hospital]]</span></p> ] (else:) [ (if: $stress >= 85) [ <p>I think I&rsquo;m not going to go on this date. But I don&rsquo;t know how to tell her.</p> ] (elseif: $stress >= 50) [ <p>I really don&rsquo;t know if I can go through with this date.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>Maybe I can do this.</p> ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress JEN: $jen ALIENATION: $alien ] <p><span class="link">[[WILL->Will-3A]]</span></p> ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">You think I&rsquo;m a party pooper but I&rsquo;m not. I&rsquo;m just not as confident as you about these things. And sometimes I really don&rsquo;t want to do what you think I should.</div> <div class="jen">I don&rsquo;t think you&rsquo;re a party pooper.</div> <div class="hana">You kind of do.</div> <div class="jen">Let&rsquo;s just say you occasionally exhibit behaviour which, from someone not as obviously cool as you are, might suggest they were a party pooper.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not a party pooper. I just move a bit more slowly than you.</div> <div class="jen">And those mysterious movements will fascinate the guys on Monday.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;re not going to take no for an answer, are you?</div> <div class="jen">No.</div> <div class="hana">Fine.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <!-- Each of these indicates whether a particular passage is available --> (set: $threeb to true) (set: $threec to false) (set: $threed to true) (set: $threee to false) (set: $threef to true) (set: $threeg to true) (set: $threeh to true) (set: $threei to false) (set: $threei to false) <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="will">Hello, HeadLine. Can&mdash;</div> (if: $toldwill) [ <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s Hana again.</div> <div class="will">Hana. How&rsquo;s it going?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s OK. How are you?</div> <div class="will">Uh, not bad. Hurt my ankle.</div> <div class="hana">Can you walk OK?</div> <div class="will">More or less.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Here&rsquo;s the thing. I&rsquo;ve had half a bottle of wine. I feel like I might be able to talk about the cutting as long as I don&rsquo;t think about it too hard. As long as we just jump into it.</div> <div class="will">OK &hellip;</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I cut myself.</div> <div class="will">Sorry, what?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s Hana again. The thing I keep chickening out of telling you is that I cut myself.</div> <div class="will">You don&rsquo;t mean that you cut yourself by accident.</div> <div class="hana">No, not by accident. I mean, I do it deliberately. Over and over again.</div> <div class="will">So, uh &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I know this is kind of sudden. But I&rsquo;ve had a couple of drinks. If I think about what I&rsquo;m doing, I&rsquo;ll just get the fear and hang up <em>again</em>. And then I really will be too embarrassed to call back.</div> <div class="will">Right.</div> <div class="hana">So, ask me about it.</div> (set: $stress to (max: $stress-6, 0)) ] (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/mother.png"/><div id="motherfacetext"><div class="charname">Mrs Adams</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s mother</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="mother">Hello?</div> <div class="hospital">Is this Mrs Adams?</div> <div class="mother">Yes.</div> <div class="hospital">It&rsquo;s the Royal Hospital. We have you listed as an emergency contact for Hana Adams. Is that correct?</div> <div class="mother">She&rsquo;s my daughter.</div> <div class="hospital">We admitted Hana this morning. She&rsquo;s lost a lot of blood, but she&rsquo;s stable now and in no immediate danger.</div> <div class="mother">Was she in an accident?</div> <div class="hospital">No. Would it be possible for you to come in and speak to a doctor?</div> <div class="mother">I &hellip; it&rsquo;s difficult to get away right now. I&rsquo;m at work.</div> <div class="hospital">I see.</div> <div class="mother">Oh, of course I&rsquo;ll come. I&rsquo;ll work out something.</div> <div class="hospital">Thank you.</div> <div class="mother">Never thinks of anybody but herself.</div> <div class="hospital">Pardon?</div> <div class="mother">Nothing. Thank you for letting me know.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[THE END->End]]</div> </div> }{ (set: $choices to 0) <div class="choices"> (if: $threeb and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"Why do you do it?")[(set: $choice to "Why do you do it?")(goto:"Will-3B")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threec and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"It still hurts, right?")[(set: $choice to "It still hurts, right?")(goto:"Will-3C")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threed and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"How did you start?")[(set: $choice to "How did you start?")(goto:"Will-3D")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threef and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"Who knows about it?")[(set: $choice to "Who knows about it?")(goto:"Will-3F")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threeg and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"How often do you cut yourself?")[(set: $choice to "How often do you cut yourself?")(goto:"Will-3G")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threeh and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you feel like &hellip; you want to do it now?")[(set: $choice to "Do you feel like &hellip; you want to do it now?")(goto:"Will-3H")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threei and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"Could you try not to cut this time? For me?")[(set: $choice to "Could you try not to cut this time? For me?")(goto:"Will-3I")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $threej and $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"What are you punishing yourself for?")[(set: $choice to "What are you punishing yourself for?")(goto:"Will-3J")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"It sounds a little like you don&rsquo;t want to stop.")[(set: $choice to "It sounds a little like you don&rsquo;t want to stop.")(goto:"Will-3L")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you think about &hellip; ending it?")[(set: $choice to "Do you think about &hellip; ending it?")(goto:"Will-3K")]</div> (set: $choices to $choices+1) ] (if: $choices < 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")(goto:"Will-3M")]</div> ] </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s kind of difficult to explain.</div> <div class="will">Try me.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="will">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">You know when you get a blister on your foot, and it swells up inside your shoe? And it starts feeling gigantic, pressing on the shoe the whole time, and you can&rsquo;t stop thinking about it? And eventually you just <em>need</em> to burst it?</div> <div class="will">Yeah &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">And you know you shouldn&rsquo;t burst it, it would heal better if you didn&rsquo;t, but it&rsquo;s in there bothering you the whole time, the whole time. And when you burst it, it&rsquo;s kind of gross, but at the same time, what a relief.</div> <div class="will">Right.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s a bit like that inside my head. But magnified by a hundred. I feel overwhelmed by things. I can&rsquo;t stop thinking about them. And my knife is sitting there, and I know all I have to do is press it in, drag it through my skin. Then the blood will come, and the panic will fade away.</div> (set: $threeb to false) (set: $threec to true) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Well, yeah. But that&rsquo;s OK. It&rsquo;s kind of good. There&rsquo;s a clean, sharp pain from the flesh and maybe a queasy feeling if I&rsquo;ve gone too far in.</div> <div class="will">And why is that pain good?</div> <div class="hana">Because it&rsquo;s OK to feel it. This is something I did, something I can control. And all this other stuff that&rsquo;s been bothering me, all that is away in the background now. There&rsquo;s just me and the wound and the blood.</div> <div class="will">And you don&rsquo;t mind that it hurts?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s an escape. But it&rsquo;s also &hellip; to punish myself.</div> <div class="will">It&rsquo;s difficult for me to understand why that would make you feel good.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s not <em>good,</em> exactly. But it helps. It really does.</div> (set: $threec to false) (set: $threej to true) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I feel stupid talking about that.</div> (if: $fruitstory) [ <div class="will">Remember that stupid thing I blurted out about the grapefruit.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="will">You don&rsquo;t have to if you don&rsquo;t want to.</div> ] <div class="hana">It was in high school. My parents had divorced and I was living with my mother. We weren&rsquo;t getting on and there was this other shit I was failing to deal with.</div> <div class="will">OK.</div> <div class="hana">I was in the changing room after sports, sitting next to this girl I didn&rsquo;t know. And she had scars on her arms and thighs. She saw me looking&nbsp;&mdash; staring, probably. And she grinned and said, &ldquo;My dad&rsquo;s Stanley knife.&rdquo; I must have looked shocked because she shook her head and laughed. &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t worry,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I did it myself.&rdquo; And she gave me this really sick grin. I&rsquo;ve never forgotten it.</div> <div class="will">Wow.</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> (set: $threed to false) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"And what happened?")[(set: $choice to "And what happened?")(goto:"Will-3E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Later, my mother and I were having this massive argument, shouting and slamming doors and stuff, and I stormed upstairs to my bedroom. And I&rsquo;m sitting there feeling all this usual teenage crap and my mother&rsquo;s yelling that I&rsquo;ve ruined her life, and then I see on the desk &hellip; this craft knife I&rsquo;ve been using for my art homework.</div> <div class="will">And you remembered the girl in the changing room.</div> <div class="hana">Right. And I had some idea about making a big dramatic gesture, coming downstairs bleeding and scoring a few points that way. But then when I did it &hellip; the whole world shrunk to that one thing. The bloody knife and this cut on my arm. And I decided not to go down and throw it in my mother&rsquo;s face. I kept it as something for myself.</div> <div class="will">And you did it again.</div> <div class="hana">And again, and again.</div> (set: $origin to true) (set: $threee to false) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">You.</div> <div class="will">Only me?</div> <div class="hana">And some doctors at the hospital &mdash; a couple of times I had to get stitched up.</div> <div class="will">That must have been awkward.</div> <div class="hana">They spend all their time trying to persuade you to get counselling.</div> <div class="will">Is that something you&rsquo;ve considered?</div> <div class="hana">Not really. I mean, it&rsquo;s because I cut that I&rsquo;ve never needed counselling. It&rsquo;s how I keep things under control.</div> <div class="will">But you called us because you were worried.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip; yeah.</div> (set: $threef to false) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">It depends. If things are going fine, I don&rsquo;t do it at all. If lots of things are piling up, it&rsquo;s the only way to escape. So I might cut twice, even three times a week.</div> <div class="will">That makes it sound like &hellip; going to the supermarket or something.</div> <div class="hana">Well, it&rsquo;s not.</div> <div class="will">At the moment, how are&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">Lots of things are piling up.</div> <div class="will">Right.</div> <div class="hana">Mmm.</div> (set: $threeg to false) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip; yeah.</div> <div class="will">But you haven&rsquo;t, yet.</div> <div class="hana">No.</div> <div class="will">I, uh &hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I think I called you so I wouldn&rsquo;t. Even if only for another half hour.</div> <div class="will">It&rsquo;s good you called.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know what I thought you were going to do, though. You can&rsquo;t magic it away.</div> (set: $threeh to false) (set: $threei to true) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Asking that makes me really uncomfortable.</div> <div class="will">I just don&rsquo;t want you to hurt yourself.</div> <div class="hana">But then, how can I deal with what I&rsquo;m feeling?</div> <div class="will">You said you had been drinking tonight.</div> <div class="hana">Yeah. But I get drunk really fast and I get brutal hangovers.</div> <div class="will">I didn&rsquo;t mean that was a solution. I just&mdash; I don&rsquo;t know what to suggest.</div> <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t have to fix it. How could you? I don&rsquo;t even want it fixed, really. It&rsquo;s just good to have someone to talk about it.</div> (set: $threei to false) (set: $threel to true) (set: $notcut to true) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">For &hellip; for being weak. For making such a screw-up out of everything. For having all the chances and wasting them.</div> <div class="will">You&rsquo;re pretty tough on yourself.</div> <div class="hana">Why not? Everyone else is. No, see, that&rsquo;s me doing it again. Pity poor little Hana who can&rsquo;t cope with being a bloody waitress. It&rsquo;s pathetic.</div> <div class="will">When you say everyone else is tough on you&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">My boss. My mother. My best friend. My only friend, really. I&rsquo;m sure if I had a boyfriend I&rsquo;d be complaining about him. Listen to me. Are you surprised I punish myself?</div> <div class="will">I hope <em>I&rsquo;m</em> not being tough on you.</div> <div class="hana">Not enough, really.</div> (set: $threej to false) (display: "Will-3-choices") }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">What, suicide?</div> <div class="will">Yeah.</div> <div class="hana">No. It&rsquo;s not about that.</div> <div class="hana">I can understand it looks that way when you think about me with my arm open covering the place in blood. But no. It&rsquo;s not about that.</div> <div class="will">I&rsquo;m really glad to hear you say that.</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")(goto:"Will-3M")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Well &hellip; I &hellip; I do want to stop. I don&rsquo;t like being somebody who runs to the toilet to mutilate herself.</div> <div class="will">But?</div> <div class="hana">But I don&rsquo;t want the <em>option</em> removed. Otherwise, what would I do when it gets too much?</div> <div class="will">Hmm.</div> <div class="hana">Sometimes I have to be without my knife. If I go on a plane or something. And I just feel panicky the whole time, because I haven&rsquo;t got my safety net.</div> <div class="will">I get it, I think.</div> <div class="hana">My mother thinks I&rsquo;m terrified of flying. Not at all. I&rsquo;m terrified of airport security precautions.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;ve got some information which might help.")(goto:"Will-3M")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice We keep a list of local health resources. There&rsquo;s a support group for people who self-harm. Would you like their contact details?</div> <div class="hana">Do they come round your house and do an intervention and stuff like that?</div> <div class="will">No, no, it&rsquo;s not like that at all. It&rsquo;s just other people who do the same thing, and they get together and talk.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know how I feel about that.</div> <div class="will">It&rsquo;s totally up to you. But would you like the contact details? Then you can decide for yourself.</div> <div class="hana">I suppose.</div> <div class="will">It doesn&rsquo;t mean you can&rsquo;t call us. You can call us any time.</div> (if: ($will + $comms) >= 5) [ <div class="hana">OK. Give me the number.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">OK &hellip;</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Will-3-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> (if: $toldwill) [ <p>I phoned the helpline guy again. Lucky him. I had a drink first. I kind of knew before I called that I was going to spill the whole story.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>I got myself a bit drunk and finally told the guy on the helpline that I cut myself. I don&rsquo;t know why I was so scared to do it before. He took me seriously and talked about it and he didn&rsquo;t trace the call and send an ambulance screaming round or any of that other stuff I imagined.</p> ] (if: $notcut) [ <p>He did ask me not to cut myself tonight. That made me mad at him. He&rsquo;s not here in my situation. He&rsquo;s not having to handle this stuff. I&rsquo;m sorry if it makes him feel awkward, but it&rsquo;s not about how <em>he</em> feels. I&rsquo;m the one that has to deal with it.</p> (set: $empathy to (max: $empathy-2, 0)) ] (if: ($will + $empathy) <= 5) [ <p>I expected to feel better, but I just feel empty now. I don&rsquo;t think he actually cares about how I&rsquo;m feeling. It&rsquo;s just words. Going through the motions. I think on some level I knew that before I called tonight.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>All the same, it actually felt good to talk about it without being judged or told what to do to fix myself.</p> (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) (set: $stress to (max: $stress-6, 0)) ] (if: $origin) [ <p>I told him about the first time, with the girl in gym class and the argument with Mum. I sometimes wonder if things would have been different if I hadn&rsquo;t talked to that girl, or if art homework that week had just been watercolour instead of collage. Paintbrushes instead of a knife. Not the argument, of course. We had those all the time.</p> ] <p>He gave me the phone number for a support group. (if: ($will + $empathy) <= 5) [ I guess he&rsquo;s heard all the details now and that was his way of giving me the brush-off. What&rsquo;s the point in calling a support group? They&rsquo;ll just be the same.</p> <p><span class="link">[[NEXT DAY->Hospital]]</span></p> ] (elseif: ($comms + $empathy) <= 9) [ Maybe I&rsquo;ll call them. I&rsquo;m not sure.</p> <p><span class="link">[[JEN->Jen-3A]]</span></p> ] (else:) [ I guess if I can call him, I can call them. I&rsquo;m kind of surprised at how good I&rsquo;m being.</p> <p><span class="link">[[JEN->Jen-3A]]</span></p> ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress WILL: $will EMPATHY: $empathy ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">So, thanks for helping me with my date last night.</div> (set: $tmp to $jen * $comms * $health) (if: $alien <= 5) [ (set: $tmp to $tmp * 2) ] (if: $tmp >= $stress) [ <div class="jen">I particularly enjoyed the bit where you didn&rsquo;t talk or smile and just sat there making the rest of us uncomfortable. Oh wait. That was the entire date.</div> <div class="hana">I wasn&rsquo;t that bad.</div> <div class="jen">Yuh-huh.</div> (set: $wentdate to true) ] (else:) [ <div class="jen">I particularly enjoyed the bit where you didn&rsquo;t show up and you didn&rsquo;t answer your phone.</div> <div class="hana">I texted you to say I wasn&rsquo;t coming.</div> <div class="jen">Yeah, once it was too late for me to get anybody else.</div> (if: $comms > 3) [ <div class="hana">I meant to come. I was going to.</div> <div class="jen">Well, that&rsquo;s fine then.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I know I left it too late.</div> <div class="jen">Great. Well, that&rsquo;s the main thing.</div> ] (set: $wentdate to false) ] <div class="hana">Don&rsquo;t be mad at me.</div> <div class="jen">I am mad at you.</div> <div class="hana">I told you I didn&rsquo;t want to come. Why did you make me when you knew I didn&rsquo;t want to?</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I didn&rsquo;t <em>make</em> you.")[(set: $choice to "I didn&rsquo;t <em>make</em> you.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You never want to do <em>anything,</em> Hana.")[(set: $choice to "You never want to do <em>anything,</em> Hana.")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-3B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why did you say yes when you knew you were just going to drop me in it?")[(set: $choice to "Why did you say yes when you knew you were just going to drop me in it?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-3B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I didn&rsquo;t <em>make</em> you.") [ <div class="hana">Yes, you did. I told you I wasn&rsquo;t into it. I told you I was uncomfortable and you didn&rsquo;t listen.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You never want to do <em>anything,</em> Hana.") [ <div class="hana">Not wanting to go on a blind date doesn&rsquo;t mean I never want to do anything. It just means, I don&rsquo;t want to go on the blind date.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Why did you say yes when you knew you were just going to drop me in it?") [ <div class="hana">I didn&rsquo;t plan to spoil your date. I just felt bulldozed into it.</div> ] <div class="jen">Dammit, Hana, you could just have said no.</div> <div class="hana">I tried to say no. You don&rsquo;t hear it.</div> <div class="jen">Of course I hear it. But I always try to talk you out of it.</div> <div class="hana">So don&rsquo;t!</div> <div class="jen">I should have just got someone else.</div> <div class="hana">I wish you had.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"It&rsquo;s not like I&rsquo;m some kind of bully.")[(set: $choice to "It&rsquo;s not like I&rsquo;m some kind of bully.")(goto:"Jen-3C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why do you make this stuff so hard?")[(set: $choice to "Why do you make this stuff so hard?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I thought you would enjoy it.")[(set: $choice to "I thought you would enjoy it.")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-3C")]</div> </div> }(set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 70) (set: $comms to 3) (set: $jen to 6) (set: $alien to 6) [[Jen-3A]]{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "It&rsquo;s not like I&rsquo;m some kind of bully.") [ <div class="hana">You sort of are.</div> <div class="jen">What?</div> <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t steal my lunch money or anything. But you do bully me into doing things I don&rsquo;t want to.</div> <div class="jen">I don&rsquo;t <em>bully</em> you.</div> <div class="hana">What would you call it? When I say &ldquo;no&rdquo; and the outcome is always &ldquo;yes&rdquo;.</div> <div class="jen">&hellip;</div> ] (if: $choice is "Why do you make this stuff so hard?") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t make it hard.</div> <div class="jen">A reasonable person says, I&rsquo;m single. a double date with my stupid friend? Yeah, I&rsquo;ll do that. Might be fun. And if it isn&rsquo;t, I&rsquo;ll get drunk and climb out the toilet window.</div> <div class="hana">So I&rsquo;m not reasonable?</div> <div class="jen">Not really.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I thought you would enjoy it.") [ <div class="hana">Yeah, being forced to do all the things I hate at once. Who wouldn&rsquo;t enjoy that?</div> ] <div class="jen">Hana, left to your own devices, you would do <em>nothing.</em> You&rsquo;d get old before your time.</div> <div class="hana">That&rsquo;s <em>my</em> choice.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I asked you to do one thing for me for a change.")[(set: $choice to "I asked you to do one thing for me for a change.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(set: $onething to true)(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-3D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why are you like this?")[(set: $choice to "Why are you like this?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I don&rsquo;t know why I put up with you.")[(set: $choice to "I don&rsquo;t know why I put up with you.")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-3D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I asked you to do one thing for me for a change.") [ <div class="hana">Yeah, but you asked me to do something you <em>know</em> I&rsquo;m not good at.</div> <div class="jen">You&rsquo;d be better at it if you tried.</div> <div class="hana">I do try. I try all the time.</div> <div class="jen">Well, so do I, Hana. So do I.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I don&rsquo;t know why I put up with you.") [ <div class="hana">Why you <em>put up</em> with me?</div> <div class="jen">Why I put in all this time and energy for you.</div> ] <div class="hana">Are you saying I&rsquo;m some kind of charity case for you? A pet project?</div> <div class="jen">You said that. Not me.</div> <div class="hana">But you think it!</div> <div class="jen">Let&rsquo;s just say one of us actively contributes to this friendship and the other just sits there and sucks it up.</div> <div class="hana">I can&rsquo;t believe you think that.</div> (set: $charity to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why are you like this?")[(set: $choice to "Why are you like this?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"OK, so what do you contribute?")[(set: $choice to "OK, so what do you contribute?")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(goto:"Jen-3F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How do <em>you</em> think it works?")[(set: $choice to "How do <em>you</em> think it works?")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-3F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">What do you mean?</div> <div class="jen">You make sure things fail.</div> <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="jen">You sabotage yourself. I hook you up with a guy and you don&rsquo;t even bother to call him. I provide the easiest date in the world, where I&rsquo;m doing the heavy lifting and all you have to do is turn up and nod occasionally. But no, that&rsquo;s too hard.</div> <div class="hana">So stop trying to find me a boyfriend!</div> <div class="jen">It&rsquo;s not just dates, Hana. You sabotage anything that might lead to you having to step outside your little safe bubble. Trips away, job stuff &hellip; even your clothes are always the same old thing. Don&rsquo;t risk a hat, or a coloured jacket, or anything that might make you seem interesting or attractive.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m not as bad as that.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You kind of are.")[(set: $choice to "You kind of are.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So. Why <em>are</em> you like that?")[(set: $choice to "So. Why <em>are</em> you like that?")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What is it you bring to our friendship, then?")[(set: $choice to "What is it you bring to our friendship, then?")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-3F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: ($choice is "What is it you bring to our friendship, then?") or ($choice is "OK, so what do you contribute?")) [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m &hellip; I&rsquo;m just your friend.</div> <div class="jen">A friend would have backed me up on this date.</div> <div class="hana">I &hellip; I tried to.</div> ] (if: $choice is "How do <em>you</em> think it works?") [ <div class="hana">You&rsquo;ve got lots of other friends who&rsquo;ll go on dates with you. You can go with me to a film or a gallery or something.</div> <div class="jen">Oh, big thrills.</div> <div class="hana">I thought you liked that stuff.</div> <div class="jen"><span class="emote">&lt;sigh&gt;</span> I do. It&rsquo;s just &hellip;</div> ] <div class="jen">Sometimes your world seems very small, Hana. Why do you keep it that way? Why do you isolate yourself?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s just what I&rsquo;m like.</div> <div class="jen">But surely&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">You just want me to be more like you.</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> (set: $isolate to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-3-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>Jen phoned to give me hell about the date. I knew that was coming.<p> (if: $wentdate) [ <p>She thinks I tried to sabotage it because I wasn&rsquo;t the life and soul of the party. What was she expecting?</p> (if: $comms <= 4) [ <p>The guy who was &ldquo;my date&rdquo; didn&rsquo;t seem particularly interested either. He just sat on his phone all night.</p> ] <p>Jen&rsquo;s guy seemed all right. He talked a lot. He wasn&rsquo;t as funny as he thought he was. I just kind of nodded.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>I thought I would go. I even dressed up and put some makeup on. But I just couldn&rsquo;t make myself walk out the door. I texted her and then I turned my phone off. Then I just watched the hands on the clock go round.</p> ] (if: $charity) [ <p>Jen basically said I&rsquo;m a charity case and she&rsquo;s only friends with me because she feels sorry for me. (if: $health <= 2) [ The worst thing is that I know she&rsquo;s right. She&rsquo;s got all these things going on and all these friends she could hang out with instead, and here&rsquo;s me, screwing her date up. ] </p> ] (if: $isolate) [ <p>She asked me what I contribute to our friendship. (if: $onething) [ She even said she&rsquo;d asked me to do one thing for her for a change. I thought I did lots of things for her. ] I always thought I let her get away from her party friends and be quiet for a bit. Sort of express her other side. But perhaps I was wrong and she doesn&rsquo;t need that at all.</p> <p>She also asked me why I isolate myself. Well &hellip; she&rsquo;d get a fright if she found out why.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>She said I drive her crazy and I&rsquo;m a really difficult person to be friends with. I never thought that last bit was true. But maybe it is.</p> ] (if: $jen <= 3) [ (set: $stress to (min: $stress+5, 100)) ] (if: $alien > 5) [ <p>It doesn&rsquo;t feel like Jen and I are having a fight. It&rsquo;s more like, why did we ever <em>try</em> to be friends? How could we?</p> (set: $health to (max: $health-1, 0)) ] (if: $health < 1) [ <p>I feel very strange.</p> <p><span class="link">[[NEXT DAY->Hospital]]</span></p> ] (elseif: $health < 3) [ <p>I&rsquo;m hanging in here. But not by much.</p> <p><span class="link">[[ERNIE->Ernie-1A]]</span></p> ] (else:) [ <p>I really hope this blows over.</p> <p><span class="link">[[ERNIE->Ernie-1A]]</span></p> ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress JEN: $jen ALIENATION: $alien ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You kind of are.") [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">Oh, for God&rsquo;s sake, say something.</div> <div class="hana">What do you want me to say?</div> ] (if: $choice is "So. Why <em>are</em> you like that?") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m just getting through one day at a time.</div> <div class="jen">That&rsquo;s fine, Hana. But you&rsquo;ve got to make the most of these days.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] <div class="jen">Ugh! You drive me crazy.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sorry.</div> <div class="jen">I swear, you are the most difficult person to be friends with.</div> <div class="hana">So why do you bother?</div> <div class="jen">Right now, I don&rsquo;t know.</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-3-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <!-- COMFORT measures Hana's comfort with the support group idea. (0-10) --> (set: $comfort to 0) <!-- BASESTRESS records Hana's stress levels at the start of the scene. --> (set: $basestress to $stress) <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="ernie">Hello?</div> <div class="hana">Uh, hullo. I was, uh, I was given this number.</div> <div class="ernie">You looking for the support group?</div> <div class="hana">Maybe. I'm not sure.</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m Ernie.</div> <div class="hana">Hana.</div> <div class="ernie">Pleased to speak to you, Hana.</div> <div class="hana">Uh, thanks. Uh &hellip; you too.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[ERNIE->Ernie-bumper]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="bumper"> <img src="images/ernie.png"/> <div class="bumpertext"> <h1>Ernie</h1> <p>Ernie is a retiree and grandfather who can be reliably located if you know his routine. On sunny days, he listens to the radio and tends a small herb patch in his front garden. In season, he travels three stops on the bus to work on his allotment. On Saturday afternoons, he places a few small bets on the horses and retires to a nearby pub, where he drinks three half-pints as he watches the results come in.</p> <p>On Tuesday nights he runs a support group for self-harmers.</p> <p><span class="link">[[CONTINUE->Ernie-1B]]</span></p> </div> <br clear="left"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">So you&rsquo;re thinking of coming along to the group?</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t really know anything about it. Are you the, uh &hellip;</div> <div class="ernie">I never know what to call myself. I think the council call me the &ldquo;facilitator&rdquo;. But I&rsquo;m just the guy who books the room and gets there half an hour early to switch on the urn.</div> <div class="hana">Do you work for the council?</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m retired. Do you mind if I ask what age you are, Hana?</div> <div class="hana">Nineteen.</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m sixty-seven.</div> <div class="hana">Oh.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Not what you were expecting, maybe?")[(set: $choice to "Not what you were expecting, maybe?")(goto:"Ernie-1C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Excuse me for asking.")[(set: $choice to "Excuse me for asking.")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Don&rsquo;t believe that saying about wisdom coming with age.")[(set: $choice to "Don&rsquo;t believe that saying about wisdom coming with age.")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> (if: $choice is "Not what you were expecting, maybe?") [ <div class="ernie">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Not really.</div> <div class="ernie">Yeah. People think of self-harm, they think of teenage girls. To be fair, that describes about two-thirds of the group.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Excuse me for asking.") [ <div class="ernie">$choice It&rsquo;s just that it helps to understand where you&rsquo;re coming from.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Don&rsquo;t believe that saying about wisdom coming with age.") [ <div class="ernie">$choice I play Scrabble every week and I don&rsquo;t think I&rsquo;ve won a game in five years.</div> ] <div class="hana">Do you, uh, do you &hellip;</div> <div class="ernie">Do I self-harm? Yes I do. It&rsquo;s OK, you can ask stuff like that. Yes, I&rsquo;ve been a self-harmer for forty years.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="ernie">Hello? Hello?</div> <div class="hana">Sorry. I&rsquo;m still here.</div> <div class="ernie">Don&rsquo;t let the idea get you down. For me it&rsquo;s like alcoholism. There&rsquo;s no cure. But there&rsquo;s control. Managing the problem. I haven&rsquo;t actually done it for nearly a decade. Although I often want to.</div> <div class="hana">That&rsquo;s kind of reassuring and scary at the same time.</div> <div class="ernie">Sounds like my wife.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"So what&rsquo;s brought you to call?")[(set: $choice to "So what&rsquo;s brought you to call?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Ernie-1D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Are you interested in coming along to the group?")[(set: $choice to "Are you interested in coming along to the group?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-1D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you yourself self-harm?")[(set: $choice to "Do you yourself self-harm?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Ernie-1D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "So what&rsquo;s brought you to call?") [ <div class="hana">Things have just got complicated all of a sudden. Like I was getting by, keeping it a secret. But now it&rsquo;s become a problem.</div> <div class="ernie">Mmm.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Are you interested in coming along to the group?") [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;d like to know what to expect.</div> <div class="ernie">Fair enough.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Do you yourself self-harm?") [ <div class="hana">&hellip; yes.</div> <div class="ernie">Strange to say it out loud?</div> <div class="hana">Yes.</div> <div class="ernie">It&rsquo;s good to say it, though. Acknowledge it. Put it out there and then you can start dealing with it.</div> <div class="hana">Is that what you do in the group?</div> ] <div class="ernie">The most valuable thing about our group is that it&rsquo;s a place where you can be honest about what you do and what you&rsquo;re feeling. And everybody understands. Or at least they don&rsquo;t look at you like Muggles do.</div> <div class="hana">You read Harry Potter?!?</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m reading it to my grandson at the moment.</div> <div class="hana">Wow.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Does that sound like it would be useful?")[(set: $choice to "Does that sound like it would be useful?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Ernie-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is there something you need help with, right now?")[(set: $choice to "Is there something you need help with, right now?")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Would it help you to know about my background?")[(set: $choice to "Would it help you to know about my background?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+2, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Is there something you need help with, right now?") [ <div class="hana">Well &hellip; yes and no. The immediate problem is that my best friend hates me. My only friend, really.</div> <div class="ernie">Oh dear. I learned a long time ago not to get involved in an argument between women.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s not really an argument. She&rsquo;s right, and I&rsquo;m an idiot.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Does that sound like it would be useful?") [ <div class="hana">Maybe. I&rsquo;ve been talking to this guy on a helpline, and he does make me feel better, even if he doesn&rsquo;t always understand.</div> <div class="ernie">It&rsquo;s difficult for outsiders to understand it.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s difficult for me too!</div> ] <div class="ernie">Is that the main thing that&rsquo;s bothering you?</div> <div class="hana">No. I&rsquo;m probably getting fired, and I have no qualifications, and I can&rsquo;t get on with my mother, and I can&rsquo;t handle going on dates, and I&rsquo;m going to get old and die alone.</div> <div class="ernie">But apart from that, everything&rsquo;s fine?</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;laughs&gt;</span> Yeah.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Would it help you to know about my background?")[(set: $choice to "Would it help you to know about my background?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+2, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What is it you actually do, that concerns you?")[(set: $choice to "What is it you actually do, that concerns you?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"When I was younger, I felt more pressure.")[(set: $choice to "When I was younger, I felt more pressure.")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+2, 10))(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Would it help you to know about my background?") [ <div class="hana">Maybe.</div> ] (if: $choice is "When I was younger, I felt more pressure.") [ <div class="ernie">As you get older, things sort of &hellip; settle down.</div> <div class="hana">How much older?</div> ] <div class="ernie">In my twenties and thirties, I worked in a factory. Making components for washing machines. I was never going to rise through the ranks, but it was steady work. I found out two things: I was depressed. And I&rsquo;d got a girl pregnant.</div> <div class="hana">Uh-oh.</div> <div class="ernie">My parents were church elders. I knew I&rsquo;d have to marry the girl. The worst was, I didn&rsquo;t even like her. I just was drunk at the time and she was offering.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="ernie">That doesn&rsquo;t make me sound like a good guy. I know. But I was ready to do the right thing by her. I was just terribly, terribly depressed.</div> <div class="hana">What happened?</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"One day on the packing line &hellip;")[(set: $choice to "One day on the packing line &hellip;")(goto:"Ernie-1G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">One day on the packing line I was feeling absolutely numb. Thinking about being in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life. I was watching the whirring teeth of the conveyor belt. And for some reason I just pushed my finger into the machinery.</div> <div class="hana">Ugh.</div> <div class="ernie">Yeah. It tore half an inch off. Blood everywhere, all down the line. They took me to the hospital and had to shut down production for two hours for cleaning. But while I was lying there in the ward &hellip; I was feeling something. Feeling sick but alive. Do you know what I mean?</div> <div class="hana">I think so.</div> <div class="ernie">I never did it again at work. Let them believe it was an accident. But it got sort of addictive. I used saws, drills, anything with a sharp or serrated edge. I was like one of them workshop safety films.</div> <div class="hana">Did you marry the girl?</div> <div class="ernie">No. She lost the baby.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s a sad story.</div> (set: $erniestory to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"What is it you actually do, that concerns you?")[(set: $choice to "What is it you actually do, that concerns you?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-1H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So, are you interested in trying the group?")[(set: $choice to "So, are you interested in trying the group?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Ernie-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"It would have been worse if I&rsquo;d married her.")[(set: $choice to "It would have been worse if I&rsquo;d married her.")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+2, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Ernie-1H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "What is it you actually do, that concerns you?") [ <div class="hana">I cut my arm. I guess you&rsquo;ve heard that before.</div> <div class="ernie">Maybe. But everyone&rsquo;s different.</div> ] (if: $choice is "It would have been worse if I&rsquo;d married her.") [ <div class="hana">What did your parents say about it?</div> <div class="ernie">That was only difficult for about ten years.</div> ] <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know that I actually want to stop what I&rsquo;m doing. It&rsquo;s the way I keep things under control.</div> <div class="ernie">A coping mechanism, they call that.</div> <div class="hana">I suppose.</div> <div class="ernie">&ldquo;Self-harm is an impulse-control behaviour problem linked to a variety of mental disorders.&rdquo; That&rsquo;s what the books say.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t like that definition.</div> <div class="ernie">No. But they have to teach them something at their universities.</div> <div class="hana">I guess.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"So, are you interested in trying the group?")[(set: $choice to "So, are you interested in trying the group?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-1, 0))(goto:"Ernie-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"We don&rsquo;t spend much time on the theory.")[(set: $choice to "We don&rsquo;t spend much time on the theory.")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-1I")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Have you tried any other ways to deal with what you&rsquo;re feeling?")[(set: $choice to "Have you tried any other ways to deal with what you&rsquo;re feeling?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Ernie-1I")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "So, are you interested in trying the group?") [ <div class="hana">Maybe. I&rsquo;d kind of like to watch a meeting on the internet first.</div> <div class="ernie">&lt;laughs&gt; That wouldn&rsquo;t get many viewers.</div> ] (if: $choice is "We don&rsquo;t spend much time on the theory.") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t think the theory is what I need right now.</div> <div class="ernie">Exactly.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Have you tried any other ways to deal with what you&rsquo;re feeling?") [ <div class="hana">At the moment I just feel like a rabbit in the headlights.</div> <div class="ernie">It&rsquo;s completely up to you. But we&rsquo;ve got some ideas that have worked for other people.</div> ] <div class="hana">So if I wanted to try it, how would that work?</div> <div class="ernie">You just turn up. We book a back room in a community hall. The chairs are kind of uncomfortable, but the coffee&rsquo;s all right.</div> <div class="hana">Would I have to make a speech like Alcoholics Anonymous?</div> <div class="ernie">No. Just tell us your name. And if you don&rsquo;t want to say anything else, you don&rsquo;t have to. Shall I give you the details?</div> <div class="hana">OK. Thanks.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Ernie-1-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>I phoned the support group number. I thought it would be a surgery or something but it was this (if: $ernie >= 4) [ cool (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) ] old dude called Ernie. (if: $ernie <= 1) [ It&rsquo;s kind of weird that an older guy runs a group which is mostly young girls, but whatever. ] (else:) [ I never thought about different types of people having the same problem as me. ] </p> (if: $erniestory) [ <p>He told me about his first time when he was working in a factory. It&rsquo;s going to be a while before I get that particular story out my head.</p> <p>But it&rsquo;s kind of interesting that he gets depression, and for him it&rsquo;s a way of feeling something instead of being numb all the time. For me it&rsquo;s about focus and control when things are overwhelming.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>He&rsquo;s not one of these oldies who tells you his whole life story. He seemed interested in what I had to say and he was patient.</p> ] (if: $comfort >= 4) [ <p>I feel like I could manage this group. It actually sounds like it might be a good thing for me. (set: $health to (min: $health+1, 10)) ] (else:) [ <p>The idea of being with a group of people is still kind of scary. But I&rsquo;ll try to be brave. ] (if: $stress > $basestress) [ Thinking about it is still stressing me out, though. ] (if: $stress < $basestress) [ There is something reassuring about Ernie. Maybe this will be OK. ] </p> <p>Talking to a helpline and now thinking about going to a support group. I&rsquo;m not the same Hana I was a couple of weeks ago. (if: $health >= 4) [ I actually feel a lot better than I did. ] (if: $health <= 2) [ I&rsquo;m still sure I&rsquo;m going to screw it up though. ] </p> <p><span class="link">[[CHRISTINE->Christine-2A]]</span></p> (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress ERNIE: $ernie COMFORT: $comfort ] <div class="journaltext"> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;KNOCK KNOCK&gt;</div> <div class="christine">Come in, Hana.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">See, this is a very disappointing moment for me. Because I have this idea of myself as both a terrific people person, and a kick-ass manager. So when you walked out that door last week, I thought, Christine, that&rsquo;s you done your job. Put Hana back on the straight and narrow.</div> <div class="hana">I&mdash;</div> <div class="christine">Yes, I thought, she&rsquo;ll be a model employee this week. Smiling, well-presented, efficient &hellip; there will probably be a queue of guests at my door to comment on the excellent service they&rsquo;ve received.</div> <div class="hana">I know I&rsquo;ve screwed up.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Let&rsquo;s have a look at the details.")[(set: $choice to "Let&rsquo;s have a look at the details.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I&rsquo;m glad to hear you say that.")[(set: $choice to "I&rsquo;m glad to hear you say that.")(goto:"Christine-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You think &ldquo;screwed up&rdquo; covers it?")[(set: $choice to "You think &ldquo;screwed up&rdquo; covers it?")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(set: $christine to (max: $christine-1, 0))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+3, 100))(goto:"Christine-2B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Let&rsquo;s have a look at the details.") [ <div class="christine">More wrong orders. More complaints. One very close call with a gluten-free lady who had specifically called ahead to be sure we could cater for her.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I&rsquo;m glad to hear you say that.") [ <div class="christine">Because it saves me listing the, I think, ten different ways you have screwed up this week.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You think &ldquo;screwed up&rdquo; covers it?") [ <div class="christine">Because from where I&rsquo;m sitting, it looks like it would be quicker to list the few successful orders that made it to our hungry guests, rather than the tragic pile which didn&rsquo;t.</div> ] <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">These things happen, although maybe not quite as often as they happen to you lately. But then there&rsquo;s this other stuff. Late twice. Left early without notification once. Something relating to the till that I don&rsquo;t even properly understand&mdash; but which meant I was in here until eight in the morning totalling paper receipts.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m sorry.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Sorry&rsquo;s not really good enough at this point.")[(set: $choice to "Sorry&rsquo;s not really good enough at this point.")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why did you leave early?")[(set: $choice to "Why did you leave early?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You&rsquo;re practically tech support on that till. What happened?")[(set: $choice to "You&rsquo;re practically tech support on that till. What happened?")(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-2C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Sorry&rsquo;s not really good enough at this point.") [ <div class="christine">That was what you said last week and things got worse, not better. I need more than sorry. I need an explanation.</div> <div class="hana">I can&rsquo;t really explain it.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Why did you leave early?") [ <div class="hana">I was having a bad day.</div> <div class="christine">A bad day? That&rsquo;s not a good enough reason. I&rsquo;m having a bad day right now.</div> (if: $comms > 3) [ <div class="hana">I was about to lose it in front of everybody. So I left before I did.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] ] (if: $choice is "You&rsquo;re practically tech support on that till. What happened?") [ <div class="hana">One of the guys asked me to adjust a transaction. But I started doing a daily summary instead.</div> <div class="christine">You were distracted.</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="christine">Again.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] <div class="christine">The thing is, Hana, I know how to fix this. If we were the army or a legal firm, I&rsquo;d send you on two weeks&rsquo; leave to get your head straight. But we&rsquo;re in food service. If I fire you, I can have a new hire trained by the weekend. And they&rsquo;ll be cheaper.</div> <div class="hana">I know.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You sound like you&rsquo;ve given up.")[(set: $choice to "You sound like you&rsquo;ve given up.")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Christine-2D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What would you do in my position?")[(set: $choice to "What would you do in my position?")(goto:"Christine-2D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So give me one good reason why I shouldn&rsquo;t.")[(set: $choice to "So give me one good reason why I shouldn&rsquo;t.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-2D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You sound like you&rsquo;ve given up.") [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">Oh, come on. Say something. Anything!</div> <div class="hana">What do you want me to say?</div> ] (if: $choice is "What would you do in my position?") [ <div class="hana">I suppose I&rsquo;d do what you&rsquo;re doing.</div> <div class="christine">I don&rsquo;t know, Hana. I&rsquo;m currently grinding my teeth through exasperation and rage.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (if: $choice is "So give me one good reason why I shouldn&rsquo;t.") [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">I can&rsquo;t think of one.</div> ] <div class="christine">Look, we&rsquo;ve worked together long enough that I owe you some slack. And it&rsquo;s obvious even to a cold-hearted supervisor like myself that you&rsquo;re going through something.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">On one hand, I don&rsquo;t really care what it is, as long as you sort it out. But I&rsquo;ll help, if I can.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Would you like some extra holiday to deal with it?")[(set: $choice to "Would you like some extra holiday to deal with it?")(goto:"Christine-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Is there something you want to tell me?")[(set: $choice to "Is there something you want to tell me?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Christine-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Can you assure me it&rsquo;s a temporary thing?")[(set: $choice to "Can you assure me it&rsquo;s a temporary thing?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-2E")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Would you like some extra holiday to deal with it?") [ <div class="christine">&hellip; Unpaid, of course.</div> <div class="hana">That wouldn&rsquo;t help.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Is there something you want to tell me?") [ <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s not that simple.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Can you assure me it&rsquo;s a temporary thing?") [ <div class="hana">No.</div> ] <div class="christine">Well, here&rsquo;s my problem. Another week of this and I&rsquo;ll be getting it in the neck from the general manager. Or if I&rsquo;m really lucky, from head office. At that point I have to justify keeping you on. If I can say you&rsquo;ve got some personal thing that you&rsquo;ve confided in me, I can buy you time. If not, it&rsquo;s the final pay cheque.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">So you know I&rsquo;m ready to be on your side. What&rsquo;s the problem?</div> <div class="hana">I &hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Go on.")[(set: $choice to "Go on.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Christine-2F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: (($comms < 3) or ($doom > 7)) or ($christine < 5)) [ <div class="hana">I &hellip; I&rsquo;ll try to do better.</div> <div class="christine">&hellip;</div> <div class="christine">Have you heard a word I&rsquo;ve been saying?</div> <div class="hana">Yes.</div> <div class="christine">Are you trying to send me to an early grave?</div> <div class="hana">No.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Are you actually trying to get fired?")[(set: $choice to "Are you actually trying to get fired?")(set: $doom to (min: $doom+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I thought we&rsquo;d learned to trust one another.")[(set: $choice to "I thought we&rsquo;d learned to trust one another.")(goto:"Christine-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"If you were anybody else, I&rsquo;d have fired you already.")[(set: $choice to "If you were anybody else, I&rsquo;d have fired you already.")(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(goto:"Christine-2G")]</div> </div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I&rsquo;m worried about the new uniforms.</div> <div class="christine">The new uniforms? But they&rsquo;re a big improvement. And they&rsquo;ll be properly fitted and everything. Trust me, you&rsquo;ll look&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">I have ugly arms.</div> <div class="christine">Ugly &hellip; arms? No, you don&rsquo;t. They look fine.</div> <div class="hana">I never roll up my sleeves.</div> <div class="christine">You never &hellip; oh. <em>Oh.</em></div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;begins to cry&gt;</span></div> (set: $toldchris to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Come here, Hana. <span class='emote'>&lt;offer hug&gt;</span>")[(set: $choice to "Come here, Hana. <span class='emote'>&lt;offer hug&gt;</span>")(set: $christine to (min: $christine+1, 10))(set: $chrishug to true)(goto:"Christine-2H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You think you&rsquo;re going to get fired when the uniform changes.")[(set: $choice to "You think you&rsquo;re going to get fired when the uniform changes.")(goto:"Christine-2H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I have a friend who has arms like yours.")[(set: $choice to "I have a friend who has arms like yours.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-10, 0))(set: $chrisfriend to true)(goto:"Christine-2H")]</div> ] </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "I thought we&rsquo;d learned to trust one another.") [ <div class="hana">I do trust you.</div> <div class="christine">And I thought I could trust you. But the last two weeks &hellip; you haven&rsquo;t made it easy.</div> ] (if: $choice is "If you were anybody else, I&rsquo;d have fired you already.") [ <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="christine">Seriously.</div> <div class="hana">I believe you.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Are you actually trying to get fired?") [ <div class="hana">I&mdash;</div> <div class="christine">Because you can just write me a letter and save us both the hassle.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] <div class="christine">Dammit, Hana, you&rsquo;re one of my best workers. Or you were. I want to keep you on the team. But I can&rsquo;t use the Hana who&rsquo;s been clocking in lately. I need good old Hana.</div> <div class="hana">Maybe she&rsquo;s gone.</div> <div class="christine">What?</div> <div class="hana">Nothing.</div> <div class="christine">Seriously. Last chance. If you don&rsquo;t get things together, we&rsquo;re not going to need to wait until next week to do this again. You&rsquo;ll just be gone. Got that?</div> <div class="hana">Yes.</div> <div class="christine">Now, get out of here.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Christine-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> (if: $toldchris) [ <p>I told Christine, my boss, about my problem. Sitting here now, I can&rsquo;t really believe I did that. I was sure that would get me fired. She might not want to, but her bosses would put pressure on her to get rid of the freak waitress. They&rsquo;re so sensitive to what the customers might think, like they&rsquo;d see a scar, go &ldquo;Oh my God, I have a gambling problem,&rdquo; and walk out with ten grand in their pocket.</p> (if: $chrisfriend) [ <p>But actually, she was good about it. She as much as said she has a friend who self-harms.</p> ] (elseif: $chrishug) [ <p>But actually, she was good about it. She gave me a hug! That was pretty startling, but comforting, I guess. I was bawling my eyes out by that point.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>But actually, she was good about it. I think it might not be the first time she&rsquo;s come across it.</p> ] <p>Things are going to be OK at work. She said she&rsquo;s going to make cocktail gloves part of the uniform, those long ones with no fingers. I can&rsquo;t believe how lucky I got. It&rsquo;s such, such a relief.</p> (set: $stress to (max: $stress-20, 0)) (set: $health to (min: $health+1, 10)) (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) ] (else:) [ <p>Christine called me in for another ticking off today. I might as well accept that I&rsquo;m going to be unemployed. I should start looking for a job but I just can&rsquo;t face it.</p> <p>I know she&rsquo;s a decent person, but how could she understand what I&rsquo;m feeling? Even if she did, she&rsquo;s got a bar to run and they just wouldn&rsquo;t let her have a waitress with scarred arms. They&rsquo;d fire me and then they&rsquo;d fire her too. I can&rsquo;t do that to her.</p> (set: $health to (max: $health-1, 0)) ] (if: $stress <= 45) [ (set: $health to (min: $health+1, 10)) ] (if: $health >= 5) [ <p>I feel strangely positive. Like I might be able to find a way out of this situation.</p> <p><span class="link">[[ERNIE->Ernie-2A]]</span></p> ] (elseif: $health >= 3) [ <p>Despite everything, I do feel like I&rsquo;m beginning to deal with things. I&rsquo;m sleeping a bit better and my thoughts aren&rsquo;t so dark.</p> <p><span class="link">[[ERNIE->Ernie-2A]]</span></p> ] (elseif: $health >= 1) [ <p>I&rsquo;m holding myself together, but I just can&rsquo;t see things getting better from here.</p> <p><span class="link">[[ERNIE->Ernie-2A]]</span></p> ] (else:) [ <p>I&rsquo;m going to cut again soon. It&rsquo;s the only thing that works.</p> <p><span class="link">[[NEXT DAY->Hospital]]</span></p> ] (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress CHRISTINE: $christine DOOM: $doom ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/christine.png"/><div id="christinefacetext"><div class="charname">Christine</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s boss</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="christine">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Come here, Hana. <span class='emote'>&lt;offer hug&gt;</span>") [ <div class="christine">It&rsquo;s all right. It&rsquo;s all right.</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;howls&gt;</span></div> <div class="christine">How long have you been bottling this up?</div> <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;sniff&gt;</span> Years.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You think you&rsquo;re going to get fired when the uniform changes.") [ <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;sniff&gt;</span> Yes.</div> <div class="christine">I wouldn&rsquo;t fire you for that!</div> <div class="hana"><em>You</em> wouldn&rsquo;t. But they&rsquo;d make you. And if you said no, they&rsquo;d get rid of you too.</div> <div class="christine">Hmm.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I have a friend who has arms like yours.") [ <div class="hana"><span class="emote">&lt;sniff&gt;</span> Yeah?</div> <div class="christine">She&rsquo;s had some dark times. But we got her through it.</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s so, so, difficult.</div> ] <div class="christine">I know what to do.</div> <div class="hana">You do?</div> <div class="christine">How far up does &hellip; the problem go?</div> <div class="hana">Just my forearms.</div> <div class="christine">You know what would go well with these new uniforms? Cocktail gloves. Full length.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip; yeah?</div> <div class="christine">Fingerless, so you can still pick up all those dirty napkins. Yeah, I can swing that out of our current budget.</div> <div class="hana">Really? You&rsquo;d do that?</div> <div class="christine">Sure. The general manager will think it makes the place look classy.</div> <div class="hana">Thank you. Really, thank you.</div> <div class="christine">OK. Now beat it. And don&rsquo;t let&rsquo;s need this conversation again next week.</div> <div class="hana">We won&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Christine-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="hana">Ernie?</div> <div class="ernie">Hello Hana. When someone new comes to a meeting I usually call them afterwards to see how they found it.</div> <div class="hana">It was, eh, fine.</div> <div class="ernie">That group is many things. But fine is not one of them.</div> <div class="hana">It was kind of intense.</div> <div class="ernie">When there&rsquo;s a new face, some of them act up. To impress you, believe it or not.</div> <div class="hana">I felt like &hellip; an amateur.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"An amateur?")[(set: $choice to "An amateur?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"So you heard a few stories.")[(set: $choice to "So you heard a few stories.")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-2B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you wish you hadn&rsquo;t come along?")[(set: $choice to "Do you wish you hadn&rsquo;t come along?")(set: $comfort to (max: $comfort-1, 0))(goto:"Ernie-2B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "An amateur?") [ <div class="hana">Some of those other girls seemed to have &hellip; done so much. To know all about it.</div> <div class="ernie">That&rsquo;s not a good thing, though.</div> <div class="hana">I suppose not.</div> ] (if: $choice is "So you heard a few stories.") [ <div class="hana">Are you saying they&rsquo;re made up?</div> <div class="ernie">No, no. They&rsquo;re true all right. But sometimes the story gets bigger in the telling.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Do you wish you hadn&rsquo;t come along?") [ <div class="hana">Not at all. It&rsquo;s just like there&rsquo;s a whole world I never knew existed.</div> <div class="ernie">It exists all right.</div> ] <div class="hana">Did you call me because I sat there the whole time with my mouth hanging open?</div> <div class="ernie">You were hiding it well. Anyway, that&rsquo;s the reaction they wanted.</div> <div class="hana">I guess.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did any of their stories fit your own experience?")[(set: $choice to "Did any of their stories fit your own experience?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Did you get a chance to speak to anyone afterwards?")[(set: $choice to "Did you get a chance to speak to anyone afterwards?")(goto:"Ernie-2C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"What made the most impact on you?")[(set: $choice to "What made the most impact on you?")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-2C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Did any of their stories fit your own experience?") [ <div class="hana">I related a lot to what Marian said. My dad left us too. But she&rsquo;s got <em>so</em> many scars.</div> <div class="ernie">Yeah, they build up.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Did you get a chance to speak to anyone afterwards?") [ <div class="hana">I said hello to Bobby. But I think I scared him off.</div> <div class="ernie">Yeah, that one&rsquo;s painfully shy. Don&rsquo;t worry, he&rsquo;ll get over it after he&rsquo;s known you a couple of years.</div> ] (if: $choice is "What made the most impact on you?") [ <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s really strange to know other people think the same way as I do. I always thought I was a freak.</div> <div class="ernie">And that&rsquo;s one of the reasons we have the group.</div> ] <div class="hana">Is that girl Suzanne for real?</div> <div class="ernie">How do you mean?</div> <div class="hana">All those names she cut into her legs. Were they really all guys she slept with?</div> <div class="ernie">I don&rsquo;t know. But don&rsquo;t get too wrapped up in what Suzanne says.</div> <div class="hana">Why not?</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"I don&rsquo;t ever turn people away.")[(set: $choice to "I don&rsquo;t ever turn people away.")(goto:"Ernie-2D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice But when Suzanne&rsquo;s at her worst, I occasionally have to move her to another room.</div> <div class="hana">Why?</div> <div class="ernie"><span class="emote">&lt;sigh&gt;</span> There&rsquo;s a certain mindset among some self-harmers. A kind of &hellip; celebration of the worst injuries. They goad people into going further. You can find web sites like that. Take my advice. Don&rsquo;t read them. When Suzanne&rsquo;s bad, she can turn the whole session in that direction. I have to stop her saying these things when people are vulnerable.</div> <div class="hana">That&rsquo;s really dark.</div> <div class="choices"> (if: $comms <= 3) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"You didn&rsquo;t talk much.")[(set: $choice to "You didn&rsquo;t talk much.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2E")]</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="neutral">(link:"You talked more than I expected.")[(set: $choice to "You talked more than I expected.")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Ernie-2E")]</div> ] <div class="neutral">(link:"Was the session any use to you?")[(set: $choice to "Was the session any use to you?")(goto:"Ernie-2E")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How do you feel now?")[(set: $choice to "How do you feel now?")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-2F")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You didn&rsquo;t talk much.") [ <div class="hana">I sort of wanted to. But I needed to understand where people were coming from before I jumped in.</div> <div class="ernie">I understand that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You talked more than I expected.") [ <div class="hana">Yeah. I kind of surprised myself.</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m pleased about that.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Was the session any use to you?") [ <div class="hana">It didn&rsquo;t, like, fix me or anything. But it made me feel like less of a freak. Like I said, I&rsquo;m an amateur compared to some of these guys.</div> <div class="ernie">I hope you don&rsquo;t aspire to be more &ldquo;professional&rdquo;.</div> <div class="hana">Noooo.</div> <div class="ernie">I&rsquo;m pleased about that.</div> ] <div class="hana">So what do I do now?</div> <div class="ernie">If you want, come back next week. You can talk to me any time. Although it sounds like you already have a younger fellow to talk to.</div> <div class="hana">He&rsquo;s a nice guy. But he hasn&rsquo;t lived it. And he&rsquo;s never going to be more than a voice on the phone.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"How do you feel now?")[(set: $choice to "How do you feel now?")(set: $ernie to (min: $ernie+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You sound a little more sure of yourself.")[(set: $choice to "You sound a little more sure of yourself.")(set: $comfort to (min: $comfort+1, 10))(goto:"Ernie-2F")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you want to talk about alternatives to cutting?")[(set: $choice to "Do you want to talk about alternatives to cutting?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "How do you feel now?") [ <div class="hana">Like the heat&rsquo;s off, just a little. I know something is going to come along and screw it up sooner or later, but I don&rsquo;t feel like, nobody could possibly understand me.</div> <div class="ernie">The urge never completely goes away. At least, it never has for me.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You sound a little more sure of yourself.") [ <div class="hana">Oh, I&rsquo;m totally not sure of myself. But it seems like I&rsquo;m not the first person this has happened to.</div> <div class="ernie">Not by hundreds of years.</div> ] <div class="hana">Do people &hellip; graduate from the group?</div> <div class="ernie">Some do. They make a big declaration and bring cake. Others just drift off. And I might as well tell you, because the others will, a couple of them died.</div> <div class="hana">Oh.</div> <div class="ernie">Ingrid and Matthew. I don&rsquo;t think either of them meant it. Matthew was a cutter, and just lost too much blood. Ingrid did poisons, and one time they couldn&rsquo;t wake her up. But both of those were years ago.</div> <div class="hana">Um.</div> (set: $somedie to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Have you thought of talking to a professional?")[(set: $choice to "Have you thought of talking to a professional?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2H")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do you want to talk about alternatives to cutting?")[(set: $choice to "Do you want to talk about alternatives to cutting?")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Some people find help through their GP.")[(set: $choice to "Some people find help through their GP.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Ernie-2H")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> <div class="hana">Alternatives to cutting?</div> <div class="ernie">You use your self-knowledge to reduce how often you cut. A good therapist would help you work on strategies. But you can do some stuff yourself.</div> <div class="hana">How does it work?</div> <div class="ernie">One girl keeps her knife in a little box. But she keeps that inside a much bigger box full of things to try first. Like a note she wrote to herself on a really good day, reminding herself that things will get better. Or a picture of her on holiday with her friends. I think she has a clipping in there with a review of her school panto, where she played Prince Charming.</div> <div class="hana">Cute.</div> <div class="ernie">It&rsquo;s not going to stop you every time. But sometimes, just opening the big box might be enough.</div> <div class="hana">I get it.</div> <div class="ernie">What would you put in your box?</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know. Chocolate biscuits.</div> <div class="ernie">Think about it. Take your time.</div> <div class="hana">I will.</div> (set: $bigbox to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Ernie-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>I went to the support group. I just did it; I kind of surprised myself. Ernie called me out of the blue to ask how it was. I guess I sat there the whole time looking like a rabbit in headlights.</p> <p>It&rsquo;s so strange to hear other people saying things I thought were only in my head. (if: $comfort >= 7) [ Reassuring, actually. I&rsquo;m definitely going to go back. ] (elseif: $comfort >= 5) [ I did feel like I was in the right place. ] (else:) [ But I still feel a bit like an outsider. ] </p> (if: $somedie) [ <p>Apparently two people from the group died, years ago. The thought of that makes me shiver. I do worry about losing too much blood one time and letting myself pass out.</p> ] <p> (if: $stress >= 86) [ I&rsquo;m still seriously stressing out, and dwelling on this stuff doesn&rsquo;t seem to help. ] (elseif: $stress >= 70) [ It is kind of a stressful thing to go there for the first time. ] (elseif: $stress >= 52) [ It wasn&rsquo;t as stressful as I expected. ] (else:) [ I&rsquo;m really surprised how cool I am about the whole thing. ] (if: $ernie >= 4) [ I did appreciate Ernie calling though. ] (else:) [ I hope this guy&rsquo;s not going to call me after every meeting though. ] </p> (if: $bigbox) [ <p>He told me about another girl&rsquo;s &ldquo;coping strategy&rdquo; &mdash; she puts a lot of other things that make her feel a little better between her and the knife. That might actually work for me as long as I know I can still get the knife when I need it.</p> (set: $health to (min: $health+1, 10)) ] (else:) [ <p>He suggested I talk to my doctor. I dunno. He seems to think they&rsquo;re trained to handle this stuff now. But I feel like she might call my mother or something. I&rsquo;ll have to think about it.</p> ] (set: $comms to (min: $comms+1, 10)) <p><span class="link">[[JEN->Jen-4A]]</span></p> (if: $debug) [ HEALTH: $health COMMS: $comms STRESS: $stress ERNIE: $ernie COMFORT: $comfort ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/ernie.png"/><div id="erniefacetext"><div class="charname">Ernie</div><div class="charrole">Group leader</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="ernie">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Have you thought of talking to a professional?") [ <div class="hana">I hadn&rsquo;t.</div> <div class="ernie">It&rsquo;s worth thinking about. We&rsquo;ve got lists of some good ones.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Some people find help through their GP.") [ <div class="hana">Their doctor? Really?</div> <div class="ernie">Yes. They can refer you to different kinds of therapist, or a mental health nurse.</div> <div class="hana">I&rsquo;d feel weird having a mental health nurse.</div> <div class="ernie">They&rsquo;re quite reassuring people. Mine got me into herbal tea.</div> ] <div class="ernie">Years ago it wasn&rsquo;t so great. I told my doctor once and all he wanted to do was load me with antidepressants. It took me months to realise that he looked at me and all he saw was a suicide risk. He didn&rsquo;t understand the problem at all. They&rsquo;re much better now. It&rsquo;s a well understood condition.</div> <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know about talking to my doctor.</div> <div class="ernie">Well! Stick around with us while you decide.</div> <div class="hana">Thanks.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Ernie-2-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">It&rsquo;s Jen.</div> <div class="hana">Hi.</div> <div class="jen">I &hellip; I&rsquo;ve been feeling weird about the last time we talked.</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="jen">I&rsquo;ve been feeling like &hellip; like we&rsquo;re not friends any more.</div> (if: $comms < 4) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">Look&mdash;</div> <div class="jen">No, let me get this out.</div> ] <div class="jen">I&rsquo;ve been trying to analyse what I&rsquo;m feeling. About the date.</div> <div class="jen">Don&rsquo;t you see, when you treat me like that, I feel totally snubbed?</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Like you think you&rsquo;re too good for my friends.")[(set: $choice to "Like you think you&rsquo;re too good for my friends.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+1, 100))(goto:"Jen-4B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Like what I want doesn&rsquo;t matter.")[(set: $choice to "Like what I want doesn&rsquo;t matter.")(set: $alien to (min: $alien+1, 10))(goto:"Jen-4B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Like my small dramas aren&rsquo;t as important as your big dramas.")[(set: $choice to "Like my small dramas aren&rsquo;t as important as your big dramas.")(set: $stress to (min: $stress+2, 100))(goto:"Jen-4B")]</div> </div> }(set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 90) (set: $comms to 2) (set: $christine to 5) (set: $doom to 5) [[Christine-2A]]{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">He hasn&rsquo;t phoned me since the date. That&rsquo;s one of the reasons I was so upset. I think it&rsquo;s because of that night.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">I know it&rsquo;s not all your fault. You didn&rsquo;t want to go and I did push you.</div> (if: $wentdate) [ <div class="jen">But he just found that date so awkward and weird, and I could see him thinking, this it&rsquo;s what it&rsquo;s going to be like every time if I go out with her.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="jen">But I felt like such an idiot going on a double date by myself. It made me look as if I had no friends.</div> ] <div class="hana">I said I was sorry about the date.</div> <div class="jen">I know. But &hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"You let me down, and you made out like it was my fault.")[(set: $choice to "You let me down, and you made out like it was my fault.")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-4C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"You said some really hurtful things.")[(set: $choice to "You said some really hurtful things.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-4C")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I just know next time would go exactly the same way.")[(set: $choice to "I just know next time would go exactly the same way.")(goto:"Jen-4C")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "You let me down, and you made out like it was my fault.") [ <div class="hana">It <em>was</em> your fault.</div> <div class="jen">Let&rsquo;s not go over it again.</div> ] (if: $choice is "You said some really hurtful things.") [ <div class="hana">What?</div> <div class="jen">You said that I never listen and I push you around. When I&rsquo;m just trying to help.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;ve got a funny idea of helping.</div> <div class="jen">Look, let me get through what I wanted to say.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I just know next time would go exactly the same way.") [ <div class="hana">I thought we&rsquo;d decided there wasn&rsquo;t going to be a next time.</div> <div class="jen">Well. This is what I&rsquo;m trying to say.</div> ] <div class="jen">I know I have to try a bit harder with you, and I&rsquo;ve tried to be good about it. But you make it really hard.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">I know I seem confident, Hana. But when my friends let me down, like you did on the date, it really makes me doubt myself.</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"It&rsquo;s not easy for me.")[(set: $choice to "It&rsquo;s not easy for me.")(set: $jen to (max: $jen-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-4D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"When I can&rsquo;t rely on my friends, I doubt everything.")[(set: $choice to "When I can&rsquo;t rely on my friends, I doubt everything.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-1, 0))(goto:"Jen-4D")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Sometimes I look at my stupid orange hair in the mirror and I just see a clown.")[(set: $choice to "Sometimes I look at my stupid orange hair in the mirror and I just see a clown.")(set: $alien to (max: $alien-3, 0))(goto:"Jen-4D")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "It&rsquo;s not easy for me.") [ <div class="hana">Really.</div> ] (if: $choice is "When I can&rsquo;t rely on my friends, I doubt everything.") [ <div class="jen">And then I just feel paralysed.</div> <div class="hana">Mm-hmm.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Sometimes I look at my stupid orange hair in the mirror and I just see a clown.") [ <div class="hana">You don&rsquo;t look like a clown.</div> <div class="jen">You don&rsquo;t see me first thing in the morning.</div> ] <div class="jen">I&rsquo;m not as confident as I look. I need a bit of support from my friends.</div> (if: $health < 4) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">I see.</div> ] (if: ($alien > 5) or ($jen < 4)) [ <div class="jen">So I&rsquo;ve been thinking about it. And I&rsquo;ve sort of decided that if you&rsquo;re not willing to change &mdash; if you&rsquo;re not willing to give me the support I need &mdash; then there&rsquo;s no point in us being friends. It makes me feel bad that it&rsquo;s come to this. But I think it&rsquo;s for the best.</div> (if: $comms < 3) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">Right.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"So &hellip;")[(set: $choice to "So &hellip;")(goto:"Jen-4E")]</div> </div> ] (else:) [ <div class="jen">So I&rsquo;ve been thinking about it. And I&rsquo;ve sort of decided that if you&rsquo;re not willing to change &mdash; if you&rsquo;re not willing to give me the support I need &mdash; then&mdash;</div> <div class="hana">God, Jen, will you shut up?</div> <div class="jen">What?</div> <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s not always about you! Who cares if some guy didn&rsquo;t phone you for a couple of days? I mutilate myself! I slice into my own arms and I don&rsquo;t know how to stop!</div> <div class="jen">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"What?")[(set: $choice to "What?")(goto:"Jen-4F")]</div> </div> ] }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice I think this is kind of it for us.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">I just wanted to get that stuff out. Not bottle it all up. It&rsquo;s not good for me.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">And tell you straight. I don&rsquo;t hate you or anything. I&rsquo;ll still say hi when we bump into each other. But &hellip; I&rsquo;m not going to call you any more.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen"><span class="emote">&lt;sniff&gt;</span> I feel really sad about it. But I think it&rsquo;s the right thing to do.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">God, will you say something? Say anything.</div> (if: $comms < 4) [ <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">Goodbye, Jen.</div> <div class="jen"><span class="emote">&lt;sniff&gt;</span> Bye Hana.</div> <div class="event">&lt;CLICK&gt;</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-4-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> <div class="hana">I self-harm, Jen. When things get on top of me, I cut myself. Why do you think we never go swimming? That I never let a guy touch my arm? Why do you think, when we&rsquo;re in a changing room at the shops, that I try everything on over a long-sleeved T-shirt?</div> <div class="jen">I &hellip; I thought you were just shy.</div> <div class="hana">No! It&rsquo;s because both my forearms are covered in scars that would make you heave if you saw them!</div> <div class="jen">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="jen">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me?")[(set: $choice to "Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me?")(goto:"Jen-4G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How long have you been &hellip;")[(set: $choice to "How long have you been &hellip;")(goto:"Jen-4G")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"I had no idea.")[(set: $choice to "I had no idea.")(goto:"Jen-4G")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/jen.png"/><div id="jenfacetext"><div class="charname">Jen</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s friend</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="jen">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "Why didn&rsquo;t you tell me?") [ <div class="hana">Because it&rsquo;s not always about you, Jen! Because you don&rsquo;t have an automatic right to know what I&rsquo;m thinking or feeling!</div> ] (if: $choice is "How long have you been &hellip;") [ <div class="hana">Since before you met me.</div> ] (if: $choice is "I had no idea.") [ <div class="hana">I know.</div> ] <div class="jen">I could have helped. I could have stopped you.</div> <div class="hana">Listen to me very carefully, Jen. No, you could not have stopped or cured me. That&rsquo;s not what I need. I need a friend who can accept me for what I am, and who&rsquo;ll be there when I need her, no matter where my head is at. I need a friend who listens to me, who really listens to what I say.</div> <div class="jen">&hellip; I understand what you&rsquo;re saying?</div> <div class="hana">Can you be that friend?</div> <div class="jen">&hellip;</div> <div class="jen">Yeah. Yeah, I can.</div> <div class="hana">Thank you.</div> (set: $friends to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[JOURNAL->Jen-4-journal]]</div> </div> }{ <div class="journal"> <img src="images/hana2.png"/> <div class="journaltext"> <h1>Hana&rsquo;s Journal</h1> <p>So Jen called to end our friendship. (if: $comms > 4) [ She sounded like it had gone round and round in her head until she just had to let it out. Kind of ironic to think that this is exactly what I do. ] </p> <p>I was surprised, actually. I thought she just wouldn&rsquo;t call and that would be it. But no, she was trying to do the decent thing and get closure.</p> (if: $alien > 5) [ <p>She doesn&rsquo;t realise how privileged she is. All she has to worry about is whether some nerd calls her, so she can have a half-baked fling which she will end in three weeks with some poor-me reason. One day she&rsquo;s going to have some real problems, and her life is gonna change.</p> ] (else:) [ <p>It&rsquo;s strange, but when she talked about how she was feeling, I actually felt better. Even though she obviously wants to blame me for her date going wrong, I realised she&rsquo;s not as sure of herself as she appears. It makes it easier to relate to her.</p> ] (if: $friends) [ <p>I listened for as long as I could put up with it, and then I put her straight. I still can&rsquo;t believe I did it. I told her about my problem and then laid it on the line about what I need from a friend: somebody to be there for me who won&rsquo;t judge, and will let me be myself. She sounded totally shocked. But she shut up about the date pretty quick.</p> <p>I think it&rsquo;s going to work out with us now.</p> <p><span class="link">[[WILL->Will-4A]]</span></p> ] (else:) [ <p>But it&rsquo;s her choice. If she doesn&rsquo;t want to be my friend, I can&rsquo;t stop her. I mean, I&rsquo;ll meet someone else to hang out with. Sooner or later.</p> <p>I&rsquo;m just not sure how.</p> <p><span class="link">[[PHONE CALL->Mother-A]]</span></p> ] </div> <br clear="right"/> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="will">Hello, HeadLine. Can I help you?</div> <div class="hana">Hello, Will. It&rsquo;s Hana.</div> <div class="will">Hana! How&rsquo;s life?</div> <div class="hana">Things aren&rsquo;t going too bad. I mean, I&rsquo;ve driven off my best friend&rsquo;s new boyfriend and she&rsquo;s not pleased about that. But hey.</div> <div class="will">He was probably an arse.</div> <div class="hana">Probably. I just wanted to call and say, thanks for talking to me about this stuff. Because at the time, I really didn&rsquo;t have anyone else. You know?</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"It&rsquo;s what we&rsquo;re here for.")[(set: $choice to "It&rsquo;s what we&rsquo;re here for.")(set: $will to (max: $will-1, 0))(set: $empathy to (max: $empathy-3, 0))(goto:"Will-4B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"How are you feeling about it?")[(set: $choice to "How are you feeling about it?")(set: $empathy to (min: $empathy+1, 10))(set: $will to (min: $will+1, 10))(goto:"Will-4B")]</div> <div class="neutral">(link:"Are you talking to other people now?")[(set: $choice to "Are you talking to other people now?")(set: $stress to (max: $stress-2, 0))(goto:"Will-4B")]</div> </div> }{ <div class="admin"> <h1>The End</h1> <p>Thank you for reading Hana&rsquo;s story. It can end in three different ways. Why not try again and take a different approach?</p> <p>If you would like to know more about the issues explored in the story, we have prepared a list of online resources to help.</p> <p><span class="link">[[TRY AGAIN->Start]]</span>&nbsp;<span class="link">[[RESOURCES->Resources]]</span>&nbsp;<span class="link">(link:"ABOUT THE PROJECT")[(gotoURL:"http://www.gavininglis.com/blog/300415.html")]</span></p> <br> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/will.png"/><div id="willfacetext"><div class="charname">Will</div><div class="charrole">helpline volunteer</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="will">$choice</div> (if: $choice is "It&rsquo;s what we&rsquo;re here for.") [ <div class="hana">Yeah, but you give up your time to do it. And it feels like you really care. So &hellip; thank you.</div> <div class="will">You are very welcome indeed.</div> ] (if: $choice is "How are you feeling about it?") [ <div class="hana">I don&rsquo;t know what&rsquo;s going to happen. But whatever it is, I&rsquo;ll be dealing with it. Not avoiding it.</div> <div class="will">You&rsquo;ll do great.</div> ] (if: $choice is "Are you talking to other people now?") [ <div class="hana">Yeah. It&rsquo;s still difficult &hellip; but it gets a little easier every time.</div> <div class="will">I&rsquo;m really pleased to hear that.</div> ] <div class="hana">I didn&rsquo;t know how to talk about it. I guess it&rsquo;s hard for other people too.</div> <div class="will">Mmm.</div> <div class="hana">I promise not to pester you so much in future.</div> <div class="will">You&rsquo;re not pestering us. Call back any time.</div> <div class="hana">You&rsquo;re a good guy, Will. But it&rsquo;s not you I need to talk to now. There&rsquo;s one more person.</div> <div class="will">Yeah?</div> (set: $finaltalk to true) <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[MOTHER->Mother-A]]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/mother.png"/><div id="motherfacetext"><div class="charname">Mrs Adams</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s mother</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="event">&lt;RING RING&gt;</div> <div class="hana">Hello?</div> <div class="mother">It&rsquo;s Mum.</div> <div class="hana">Hello &hellip;</div> <div class="mother">Are you busy? You&rsquo;re not working right now?</div> <div class="hana">No.</div> <div class="mother">I just &hellip; I was watching this TV programme about communication. About how people listen. It was a psychology thing.</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="mother">They showed one woman talking to her daughter. And they showed she never really listened. She just decided what she was going to say, and waited for the chance to say it. She never listened.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="choices"> <div class="neutral">(link:"Do I do that, Hana?")[(set: $choice to "Do I do that, Hana?")(goto:"Mother-B")]</div> </div> }{ <div id="leftface"><img src="images/mother.png"/><div id="motherfacetext"><div class="charname">Mrs Adams</div><div class="charrole">Hana&rsquo;s mother</div></div></div> <div id="rightface"><img src="images/hana.png"/><div id="hanafacetext"><div class="charname">Hana</div></div></div> <div class="mother">$choice Do I do that, Hana? Do I just talk over you, and never really listen? I mean, you&rsquo;d tell me, wouldn&rsquo;t you? If I did that?</div> (if: $finaltalk) [ <div class="hana">Sorry, Mum. But that&rsquo;s exactly what you do.</div> <div class="mother">I &hellip; really?</div> <div class="hana">Yep.</div> <div class="mother">Well, I &hellip; I&rsquo;m sorry about that.</div> <div class="hana">OK.</div> <div class="mother">Is there something you&rsquo;ve tried to tell me? And I haven&rsquo;t listened?</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Actually, there is.</div> <div class="mother">What?</div> <div class="hana">We should meet in person.</div> <div class="mother">All right &hellip; the usual time next week?</div> <div class="hana">No. Let&rsquo;s do it today. Today would be good.</div> ] (else:) [ <div class="hana">It&rsquo;s fine, Mum.</div> <div class="mother">I thought so. I just thought I&rsquo;d check. It was very interesting, this programme. You should watch it.</div> <div class="hana">Yeah.</div> <div class="mother">So I&rsquo;ll see you next month, as usual?</div> <div class="hana">Sure.</div> <div class="mother">Good. Well &hellip; see you then.</div> <div class="hana">&hellip;</div> <div class="hana">Bye Mum.</div> ] <div class="choices"> <div class="transit">[[THE END->End]]</div> </div> }(set: $health to 2) (set: $stress to 90) (set: $comms to 2) (set: $ernie to 4) (set: $comfort to 3) [[Ernie-2A]]{ <div class="admin"> <h1>Resources</h1> <p>If the issues in <i><a href="http://hanafeels.com/">Hana Feels</a></i> have affected you or someone you know, you may find these web resources useful. <h2>selfharmUK</h2> <p><a href="https://www.selfharm.co.uk/">https://www.selfharm.co.uk/</a></p> <p>A project dedicated to supporting young people impacted by self-harm. A good starting point, it provides a safe space to talk, to ask any questions and be honest about what&rsquo;s going on in your life.</p> <h2>The Site</h2> <p><a href="http://www.thesite.org/mental-health/self-harm/">http://www.thesite.org/mental-health/self-harm/</a></p> <p>A website with information on a wide range of issues which might affect young people. The link above will take you direct to a filtered collection of articles, videos and personal testimonies about self-harm. </p> <h2>Mind</h2> <p><a href="http://www.mind.org.uk/">http://www.mind.org.uk/</a></p> <p>A charitable organisation that works to destigmatise and support adults and young people with all sorts of mental health issues. They have great practical advice suitable for a whole host of different challenges. You can find their fact sheet about self-harm by following the link above.</p> <h2>The Alumina Project</h2> <p><a href="http://alumina.selfharm.co.uk/live">http://alumina.selfharm.co.uk/live</a></p> <p>An online course about understanding self-harm, its effect on your life, and how to take positive decisions for yourself. If you are between the ages of 14 and 18, the above link offers the course as part of a small group which will meet online at the same time each week. If this is not suitable for you for any reason, you can still take the course through <a href="http://alumina.selfharm.co.uk/on-demand">pre-recorded lessons</a>.</p> <br/> </div> }